Lawliet
by LumiOlivier
Summary: Ever wonder how L happened? The name? The person? The little boy behind it all...? (child!Lx parental!Reader going into the Kira investigation)
1. L Age 5

I remember the night I found him like it was yesterday…

He sat by himself, alone and shivering on the curb. I got closer to him, even going as far as sitting with him. He jumped at my touch.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, "I didn't mean to startle you."

He just looked at me. He wouldn't speak. He just…stared.

"Where's your mommy and daddy?"

The little boy shrugged.

"Do you have somewhere to go?" I asked.

All he did was shake his head. And in that moment, my heart fell to pieces.

"Would you like to come back to my place with me?"

He nodded. For some reason, he felt he could trust me. I guess I had one of those trustable faces.

"What's your name…?"

He held up his thumb and index finger on his right hand. So I called him L.

I couldn't leave him. L was just a kid. It killed me to see people just walk by him like he didn't exist.

"This is where I live, L," I said, opening the door to my one bedroom apartment downtown. Still nothing came out of his mouth and his expression remained blank. I guess that was to be expected. I sat L on the couch, "I'm going to make you something to eat, ok?"

L nodded. Almost excitedly. That's a start.

"Would you like to help me find something you'll like?" I asked.

L nodded quickly again, making himself wince a bit.

"Careful," I chuckled a bit, "You'll give yourself whiplash that way."

L and I went into my kitchen, searching for some sort of food to put in his belly. He was a curious one. That's for sure. L went through every nook and cranny of my tiny kitchen. He pulled on the bottom of my shirt.

"What is it?" I looked down at him, "Did you find something?"

L gave me a box of instant rice and a bottle of soy sauce.

"Is this what you want to eat, L?"

He nodded once.

"Ok," I smiled, "Would you like to help me make it?"

L shook his head and sat on the floor.

"Alright then. Why don't you go wait in the living room while I make this?"

L did what he was told and toddled over to the couch. He looked around the room, taking in his new surroundings. If I could only get in his head somehow. I'd love to know what he was thinking. Where he came from. If I was really the only one to have shown him any kindness…

I waited for the water to boil and poured the rice in. As soon as it was ready, I scooped some into a bowl and poured the soy sauce over it.

"L," I called, "Are you hungry?"

His little bare feet slapped against the hardwood floor. L nodded again, looking at his bowl of rice like it was the most beautiful thing in the world. How long had it been since this kid had a hot meal in his belly…? 

I watched as L inhaled his bowl of rice like a Marine. My god, child…When his bowl was empty, he pulled on my shirt again. Very meekly, he gave me his empty bowl.

"Do you want some more, L?"

He nodded.

I wasn't going to say no. Who knows when the last time L ate was? I gave him more rice and went back to my own that was still a little over half full. And by the time mine was empty, so was his. Again. L looked over at me as soon as he was empty.

"Do you want another bowl?" I asked.

L shook his head, putting his hand on his stomach.

"Well, I'm happy to see you're full," I interpreted, "Can I have your bowl, please?"

L gave me his empty bowl, following me back to the kitchen, curious to what I was about to do with it.

I started running hot water in the sink and put the leftover rice in the fridge. And so full of wonder, L sat on the floor, watching my every move. He pulled at the bottom of my shirt again.

"Yes, L? What can I get for you?"

He pointed at the dishes drying in the dish rack.

"Do you want to help me put them away?"

L nodded.

And I smiled down at him, "Sure. You can help."

I got him a chair to stand on and handed him our bowls to put in the cabinet. He stood anxiously awaiting my next instructions.

"Alright, L," I helped him down, "Now, I want you to go into the bathroom and start running the bathtub, ok? It's right down the hall."

With a quick nod, L ran off into the bathroom and turned the water on. He still trembled beneath my hands as I gave him the fastest bath known to man, "I know it sucks, L, but it'll be over soon. I promise."

He kept very still as I rinsed him off. I might as well have been water boarding the poor kid! I got him redressed and brought him back to the living room, "See? All done. That wasn't too bad, was it?"

L looked almost traumatized. I was guessing he was still acclimating to everything. Poor baby. Who could've left such a lovable little boy on the streets like that…?

He got up from the couch and went over to my bookshelf, pulling out the thickest book he could find. L looked up ant me, giving me the book, "Excellent choice, L! Sherlock Holmes…This is a classic. Do you like detective stories, L?"

L nodded.

"Let's open this one, shall we?" I started reading, "A Study in Scarlet. Part one. In the year 1878, I took my degree of Doctor of Medicine of the University of London, and proceeded to Netley to go through the course prescribed for surgeons in the army."

L listened intently as I kept on reading the accounts of Dr. John Watson and his initial thoughts of the strangely brilliant consulting detective Sherlock Holmes. He hung on ever word that came out of my mouth. Every sentence, every paragraph, every deduction. He soaked it up like a sponge. And I nearly jumped out of my skin when L snuggled his way into my lap.

I continued reading until I noticed his eyes getting heavier, "L, are you getting sleepy? Do you want to go to bed?"

L nodded, cuddling into me some more.

"Ok. We can stop here," I closed the book, "I wish I had a better bed for you to sleep in. The couch doesn't even fold out."

L shook his head, clinging to me.

"My bed?" I assumed. He nodded, not wanting to let me go. I couldn't say no to this little boy. There was no way, "Alright, L. Come on. Let's put you to bed, ok?"

He gave me another nod, holding onto my hand. I brought him into my bedroom and tucked him into bed. For whatever reason, L wouldn't let go of me. All night, he kept himself wrapped around my arm. A couple times, if I didn't know any better, I'd think I heard him weeping and whimpering in his sleep. And that killed me.

That's it. I had to keep him. I had to keep L. I had to keep him feeling safe and loved and no one was going to stop me. And may God have mercy on whoever tries to keep us apart. Someone obviously didn't want him. And now, someone does.

When I woke up, I still had L wrapped around my arm. My sweet, precious L. I didn't dare move him. I didn't want to risk waking him. Instead, I cradled him gently against me. The sun shone down on his adorable, angelic, little face. It should be illegal for someone to be this beautiful while they're asleep. All of a sudden, like some sort of switch was flipped, L's eyes popped open, looking up at me.

"Well," I smiled, "Good morning, sleepyhead. I thought you were going to sleep the day away."

Then, something happened that I never would've expected after L had been with me only one night. He smiled. And it was so beautiful…A wave of warmth crashed over me, radiating from the inside. L cuddled in closer to me, almost hugging me…Amazing what a decent night's sleep would do.

"What should we do today?" I asked, "We can do whatever you want."

L shrugged his shoulders.

"You're helpful, kid," I giggled, "Come on. Let's go have some fun, yeah?"

He nodded once, jumping out of bed. Although I wanted nothing more than for L and I to be together forever, I needed to tell someone about him. I had no rights to him. Yet, all the same, I had every right to him. I was there when the world turned their back on him. I was the one that didn't just walk by him like everyone else did. I started to think of him as my own son…This went on for weeks.

And we went everywhere. Parks, museums, shops. A stop outside the police station…And for a moment, I greatly considered bringing L in there. But I knew what would happen. They would try to take him away from me. And I didn't want to do anything that would take the smile away from that kid's face. This was probably the happiest he's been in a long time. Maybe even ever. Who was I to ruin that? Who were they to ruin that?

We hurried past, not even giving it a second thought. And that's where ice cream sounded like a good idea. Taking L into an ice cream shop was definitely an experience…His eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, scanning over all the different kinds of ice cream in the deepfreeze.

"Which one do you want, L?"

He looked up at me all sparkly eyed, pointing at everything and anything he could.

"No," I shot him down, "Pick one, not the whole freezer."

L gave the cutest little pout and pointed to the rocky road tub.

"Ok," I allowed, "Excellent choice, too, I might add. Make it two."

L and I found a bench in the park and did that kid go to town…I only got him a single scoop and he ate it down like it was his last meal.

"Careful, L," I warned, "If you eat that too fast, you'll give yourself brain freeze and as far as mild irritants go, that one's the worst. It's right up there with getting lemon juice in a hangnail."

L slowed down with his ice cream, frowning once he hit the bottom. He showed me his empty bowl.

"That's going to happen," I broke the news, "I know. I'd never want it to end either, but we'd all be huge."

He giggled a little bit, throwing his sad, empty bowl away, but he still had a look on his face…

"What's the matter, L?" I worried.

"Why didn't they want me, Mama…?"

My heart shattered into oblivion. I had L for a month without him saying a single word to me and THAT'S the first thing to come out of his mouth? I did all I could do to keep myself from crying. I wrapped my arms around his little body, "I don't know, baby. I don't know. But you know what? That doesn't matter. What does matter is that you got me and I got you. And that I love you and that's not going to change."

L snuggled into me, "I love you, too…"

It was kind of nice to hear L talk now. Definitely made life easier for the both of us. Well, that and getting a new apartment. If L was going to stick around for a while, he couldn't keep sleeping in my bed. As much as we both would've loved for that to keep going on, I couldn't do it anymore. He was a little space heater…

It was the same routine every night. I'd make dinner, give L a bath, and read more of the adventures of Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. That kid definitely loved his detective stories. That's for sure. And I was starting to see a little of Sherlock in him. I'd try to get him to play with other kids, but no such luck.

And I had no problem with that. I understood what it was like to be an introverted kid. They tend to grow up to be introverted adults. And they can still live fulfilling lives. I had the best one ever. All I needed was L and everything would be ok…

I gave him one last look before I realized he had clocked out. Always in the middle of the story. I scooped L up in my arms and carried him off to bed, tucking him into his bed, kissing his forehead. I may not have been the one to make him, but I was the one that made him perfect…


	2. L Age 10

**A/N: So…You're probably thinking, "Lumi, I thought this was a one-shot. I thought you weren't going to keep going with this. One and done and that's it. Just a little backstory for L." Well, you're not wrong. Originally, I wasn't going to. But I had got to talking with a people and I got this idea to do a SERIES of one-shots dealing with fetal L at different ages (a little different than his Whammy House upbringing). According to the title of this chapter, we have L at age 10. In case you need a refresh of the memory, L has been found by the reader (that's you) after being abandoned and they've been living together ever since. I suggest going back and rereading it. I mean, it won't take long. THEN, come back and time jump five years. I'll talk to you at the end, ok?**

Every day, I got up and life had purpose. I'd get out of bed and the world had meaning. And it all started five years ago when my lovable, little angel came into my life. The sweet, little boy that turned my whole world upside down that I loved more than anything. This little boy that I wouldn't trade for the world.

It was always the same. Wake up, get my morning coffee, and peek into the bedroom across the hall. Every day, I'd see the same thing. My precious baby boy sleeping so peacefully and I never tired of the view. It crushed me to wake him, but it had to be done. I sat at the edge of his bed.

"L," I spoke softly, "Wake up, sweetheart. You have school today."

"That still happens?" L whined, curling lethargically in my hip, "Every day? When will it end?"

"Let's see," I thought out loud, "You're starting fifth grade now so, you have seven years left"

"Seven years?" he pouted, "I don't want to go to school for another seven years."

"Don't worry, L," I cuddled him, "You're smart. You'll probably skip a few years down the road."

"You can do that?" L's eyes finally opened up.

"That's right," I nodded, "In order to do that, you have to do exceptionally in school and study hard. And in order to do that, you have to get out of bed first."

"I don't want to, Mama," he started to drift back to sleep.

"No," I jostled him a bit, "I know you don't want to get up, but you have to."

"Why?"

"It's just what you have to do, L," I let out an exasperated sigh, "Go get dressed, sweetheart."

"Ok," L got his little feet on the floor and went into the bathroom.

While he got ready, I got my coffee and sat at my computer to check the forums. Some of the comments from the last comic I posted online. The internet could be so sweet sometimes. It was a rarity I ever got anything negative. And when I did, it didn't take much for it to roll off my back. Just a bunch of trolls that get brave behind a computer screen. Everyone's entitled to their opinion, but when they're actively being rude for the sake of being rude, that's when people start getting blocked.

"L," I knocked on the bathroom door, "L, are you ready yet?"

"Almost!" he called out.

"Hurry up," I pushed him, "You're going to be late."

"I'm hurrying!" L came out of the bathroom, "Ok, Mama. I'm ready."

Bless this child. I pulled his arms back through his shirt, "L, honey, I love you, but you're lucky your head's on the right way."

"Did I put my shirt on backwards again?"

"Yes," I giggled, "If the tag is in the front, it's on backwards."

"Why should that even matter?" L asked.

"It's just the way things are," I pulled his arms back through the sleeves, "Don't get me wrong, sweetie, I love your inquisitive nature, but sometimes, you just have to accept things for what they are."

"Fine," he let it slide, "But Mama, all the kids are dumber than me. Every time I try to talk to one of them, my IQ drops."

"I know," I sat him on my lap, "And you're Mama's special little snowflake. But you have to tough it out a bit. Then, you can come home, I'll turn on some NPR for you, and we'll have thought provoking conversation. How's that sound?"

"I guess that'd be ok."

"That's my boy," I pulled half of L's hair out of his face into a little ponytail and walked with him to school. L's teachers and I hadn't always been on the best terms. They always tried telling me there was something wrong because of the way he was around the other kids. There was nothing wrong with my baby or the way I was raising him. Some people just had a hard time keeping their noses in their own business.

"Hi," his new teacher greeted me, "My name is Ms. Peachtree. It's so nice to meet you."

"Say hi, L," I gave him a little nudge forward, but it was just the same as last year. My poor baby had gone mute again. It always made me nervous when he reverted like that, "Sorry. He's really shy. This happened on our first day last year, too. This is L."

"Oh, yes," Ms. Peachtree nodded, "I heard all about you, L."

"What have you heard?" I immediately jumped on the defensive.

"That he's an exceptionally gifted little boy," she got down to L's level, "Aren't you?"

L nodded, with a little bit of an eye roll. Then, he looked up at me. I had gotten a pretty good handle on interpreting his face expressions to the point where we could have a full conversation and never say a single word. This one was the one that said exactly what I was thinking, but it'd be rude to say out loud. This chick was a moron.

"We keep that to ourselves," I told him. Deep in my heart, I knew L didn't want to be here. And I didn't want to leave him. He'd be ok, though. I was almost sure of it. I picked him up and held him tight, "I love you, sweetie. I'll be back at three, ok?"

L gave a quick nod and I left him at school. I had a chapter to finish anyway. My publisher was sharpening his pitchfork and my agent had ulcers. If I didn't get something to them soon, I'd be getting dropped. I booted up my tablet and got to work. All day, all I could think about was L. He couldn't talk. He already didn't like his teacher. He didn't care about the other kids. This was his hell.

As soon as the clock struck three, I was on the front steps of his school. Once the bell rang, I was outside his classroom. The quicker, the better. All the other kids came out, except for L. Why hadn't L come out yet? I went into the classroom and found my baby still at his desk with his face in a book. Not uncommon for him.

"L?" I broke the silence, "Come on, sweetheart. It's time to go home."

L closed his book and latched onto my leg. I see he missed me. And he's still not talking. Yeah. I was going to have to come through on some ice cream when we get home with that NPR, wasn't I? Probably. Rocky road usually did the trick for him.

"L," Ms. Peachtree got down to his level, making him use me as a human shield, "Could you wait outside for a minute for me? I need to talk with your mommy for a bit."

L shook his head, holding my leg a little tighter. As much as I didn't want to do this, "It's ok, L. I won't be long, ok?"

He grabbed the bottom of my sweater, not wanting to let me go, "Five minutes. Ten, tops. You want my Rubik's cube?"

L nodded as I gave him the keychain I kept in my pocket for such an occasion. He never could resist the bright colors and the satisfaction when they all matched on the same side. I left L in the hallway and met with his teacher, hoping she wasn't going to tear me a new one over the way I parent my son. All the others had. She might as well, too.

"So, what's going on?" I asked, "Is everything ok?"

"It's about L," she began, "He doesn't seem too interested in anything. He doesn't want to participate in class. He wants nothing to do with any of the other kids. The lessons aren't grabbing him in the least. I'm worried about him. What is he like at home? Does he speak? Is he more interested in anything at all?"

"Yeah," I nodded, "He and I talk all the time. And he loves my book collection. There's nothing wrong with him."

"I've spoken with some of L's previous teachers," Ms. Peachtree went on, "They all say the same thing. He's hardly verbal and extremely withdrawn. And that's been since kindergarten. One would think he would've grown out of it by now."

"So, he's a shy kid," I brushed her off, "I don't see what the problem is."

"Maybe this isn't my place," Ms. Peachtree rung her hands, "Have you ever thought about having L tested?"

"Tested for what?" I glared through her. Yep. She's just like the others.

"Any sort of behavioral disorders."

"Look," I jumped down her throat, "There is nothing wrong with L. He was abandoned by his birth parents, so he's going to be a little leery over unfamiliar people. He's going to be mistrusting. He finds comfort in knowledge and intelligence. If they're not of his caliber, they don't interest him. Don't you ever say anything to me about this again. There is absolutely nothing wrong with him. And I think we're done here."

I got up and left, taking L by the hand. Where did she get off? Telling me I should get L tested…If she knew it wasn't her place, then she should've kept her mouth shut. I'd be lying if I said I never thought about having his IQ tested. I'm almost one hundred percent sure he was at least genius. But I wasn't going to put L through all of that. I knew how traumatizing some of those hospital trips could be. I didn't have the heart to put my little angel through that.

"Mama," L asked, a mouth full of ice cream, "What did she mean when she said I should be tested?"

"Oh, baby," I sat him on my lap, hugging him tight against my chest, "You don't need to worry about that. She just wants you to play with the other kids. But she fails to understand how you work. Give her time. It's only the first day."

"And you're sure I can get out sooner than seven years?"

"Positive," I kissed the top of his head, "You're incredibly smart, L. I know you can. If your social skills weren't so stunted, I'm almost positive they would've bumped you up a grade by now. Or a few at least."

"But I don't care about the other kids, Mama," L whined, "They obviously don't care about me."

"L," my heart broke. As if it wasn't already in enough shambles, "Are the kids at school giving you problems?"

"No," he shook his head, "That would mean they're paying any attention to me."

"You don't need to worry about that, baby," I snuggled him, "We're good. Look, I wasn't exactly the social butterfly when I was your age either. I turned out fine. You will, too."

"Are you implying genetics play a role?" L wondered, "Because I was adopted. We don't share DNA."

"That doesn't make us any less family," I scolded, "I'm just saying. Just because you have high standards for who you hold a conversation with doesn't mean you're going to live a horrible life."

"Thank you, Mama," L curled into me, "I don't care about the other kids and my teacher talks to me like I'm a baby. It's absolutely maddening."

"Blow them off, honey," I told, "This is just a blip in the grand scheme of things."

"Fine."

This killed me. I couldn't be in L's head. I couldn't always be by his side to keep him in bubble wrap. More than anyone in the world, I loved L to death and I wanted no harm to come to him. But this was getting ridiculous. Not just the other kids, but his teachers, too? Is there a committee? How do we solve a problem like L? I know how. Stop treating him like a problem.

 **A/N: I whole heartedly believe this little angel went through hell in his formative years. And that his intelligence was seen as a defect more than an asset. That's why I wrote the MC the way I did. His mama would see how special he is. How his mind is a beautiful thing, not a burden. I can kind of relate. But regardless of that, I'll see you next chapter! xx**


	3. L Age 13

**A/N: And here we have a study of our sweet little L at age 13. He and his mama have been together for 7 years now. He needs her and she needs him. They have a beautiful co-dependency. So, naturally, we add a little something to upset the apple cart, so to speak, don't we? Enjoy…**

Tonight was the night. I had been talking to a man online for a few months now and tonight was the night I'd finally see his face in person. In all honesty, when I initially signed up for online dating, I wasn't looking for anything serious. Just something casual for cold winter nights. Even though it was the middle of July. But he's slowly turning into something serious. Something special. There was just one last test to see if he was a contender for being the one.

"Mama," L sat on the bathroom counter while I finished getting ready, "Do you have to go out tonight?"

"I've canceled on him twice already," I poked my earring post through the skin, "I feel like canceling a third time would scare him off."

"Maybe if he doesn't understand you canceling a third time," he assumed, "He's not worth your time."

"L!" I gasped, "You haven't even met him. Give him a chance."

"I thought you said you only needed one man in your life," L pouted, "What do you need him for?"

"Look, baby," I took his hand, "You're still the only man I need in my life. You're always Mama's little angel. Sometimes, grownups need to be around other grownups. It's not your fault. I still love you."

"So, you're not leaving me?" L looked up at me, fighting back the tears in his eyes, "You're not running off with him?"

"Of course not," I held my baby tight, trying to keep my heart in one piece, "I couldn't leave you forever. Do you know how much that would kill me? I couldn't live with myself."

"Ok," he laid his head on my shoulder, "Please don't go, Mama."

"You'll be fine by yourself," I promised, "I won't stay out all night."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"I'll only be gone for two hours," I slipped my heels on, "I'm sure you'll figure something out. And if all else fails, my bookshelf is your bookshelf."

"Fine," I did feel kind of bad for leaving L by himself. He should be ok. Theoretically.

Knock, knock.

"That should be him," I assumed, "L, could you get the door for me?"

"Do I have to?"

"If you're nice to him," I bargained, "I'll try to sneak you into a crime scene."

"Deal," L jumped down from the counter and grabbed the door.

"Hey there, buddy," a man greeted, "I'm looking for your mom. Is she home?"

"Mama," L came into the bedroom, nearly catching me slip some condoms in my bag on the off chance something went incredibly right tonight, "He called me buddy. I'm not his buddy. I don't like him."

"Please, L," I begged, "There's a crime scene on the line."

"For the crime scene," he pouted, "And it better be a good one. No petty theft cases. I want a murder."

"I love you," I kissed the top of his head and headed out to the living room, "Hi, Ray."

"Wow," he gasped, glancing me over, "You look amazing."

"Thank you," I blushed, "I see you've met my son. He didn't give you any trouble, did he?"

"Not at all," Ray got down to L's level, "I won't have her out too late, ok?"

L looked over at the clock in the kitchen, "You have exactly two hours starting now."

Ray gave me a look, "Is he serious?"

"Very," I hugged my little angel, "I'll see you in two hours, baby. I love you."

"I love you, too, Mama," L didn't want to let me go. And I didn't have the heart to peel him off my leg. But I told myself I'd do this. I kissed him goodbye and left with Ray. It was only dinner. I'd be back in a hour and fifty-three minutes.

"You know," Ray poured my wine for me, "You don't look like you've popped out a baby. Let alone one his age."

"L's adopted, "I explained, "He's still Mama's little angel. And I love him to death."

"And you raised him all by yourself?" he awed.

"That's right," I nodded, "And we get by just fine. It's just that…well…The last few months I've gotten so lonely and that's when I found you."

"That you did," Ray smiled, taking my hand, "Can I ask you something? About your son?"

"Sure," I allowed, "What about him?"

"Is he…" he hesitated for a minute, "Is he alright? Like…upstairs?"

There it was. The one question everyone always asked when it came to L. When my parents came to visit, they thought the same thing. They immediately went to the, "There's a problem with L" team like everyone else. There was nothing wrong with him. I don't know how many times I had to tell people that. Even had him tested like his teachers told me to.

Then again, they also threatened to have him taken away from me if I didn't, so I didn't have much of a choice. And they said he was fine. But what does it say about me when "having him tested" meant something more along the lines of "falsifying the documents"? I knew there was nothing wrong. I didn't need to have a doctor tell me something about my son that I already knew.

"Ray," I let out a heavy, exasperated sigh, "I'd rather not go down that rabbit hole. It's kind of a sensitive spot for me. That's also the reason why I didn't tell you about L in the first place. He's just a shy kid. People don't seem to get that."

"I'm sorry," Ray apologized, "I didn't mean for you to be uncomfortable. It was more or less my investigative nature. That's why I got in the line of work I'm in."

"Should you even be talking to me about that sort of thing?" I wondered, "Doesn't detective work usually put you in a constant line of fire?"

"What can I say?" he chuckled under his breath, "I can be a bit of an adrenaline junkie. Wouldn't be doing it if it didn't have a little bit of danger to it."

"Masochist," I teased.

"Only a little masochistic," Ray admitted, "You wouldn't happen to be a sadist, would you?"

"No," I rolled my eyes, "Sorry. You'll have to have someone else beat you. I couldn't do something like that."

"Damn," he jabbed, "There goes my plans for the night."

"You're kind of twisted, Ray," I gave him a little smirk, "I like you."

"I like you, too."

For the first time in what felt like an eternity, I had someone special. Someone romantically special. For a while, I really did believe that L was all I needed in my life. But with Ray…it's like I know everything's going to be ok. Like I'm going to be safe. Both of us. Because I had a feeling that he'd do anything for me. And by proxy, L, too.

At nine o'clock on the dot, Ray and I were standing at my front door. I knew if I came home any later, I'd walk in on L with a panic attack and that was the last thing I wanted to do. I've talked him down from one before. I never wanted to do it again. And I would do everything in my power to make sure of that.

"So," Ray rocked back on his heels, "Does this mean we're going to have a second date?"

"You know," I smiled, "Maybe. I had a good time tonight. Maybe the second time around, we could be out a little longer. Or the three of us could do something."

"Sure," he agreed, "That'd be fine. Besides, from what you told me, L is an interesting little creature."

"Never a dull moment," I promised, "That's for sure."

"Good night," Ray kissed my cheek, "I'll call you or will you call me?"

"I'll call you," I pushed to door open, "Good night."

And just like that, a good end to a good date. It really was a good night. There's a very good chance of a second date with Ray and me. And if we can include L in any way, shape, or form, that'd be amazing. I white knuckled it through dinner thinking about my baby home by himself. When I poked my head around the corner, I found L on the couch out cold. My sweet little angel sleeping soundly. I couldn't, but I had to.

"L," I spoke softly, "Wake up, baby. It's nine o'clock on the dot. I'm home on time."

"Ok," he grumbled, snuggling into my hip.

"Come on, sweetie," I helped him up, "Let's get you to bed."

"Ok," L shuffled his feet to his room and I tucked him in bed, "Mama…"

"Yeah, L?"

And in his delirium, my baby still had a one-track mind, "Do I still get my crime scene?"

I couldn't help but giggle hysterically, "Yes. You get your crime scene. But between now and then, you still have to be nice to him."

"As long as he doesn't call me his buddy again," L rubbed his eyes, "We're good."

"Ok," I pulled his blanket over him, "Good night, L."

"Night, Mama…"

I don't think I was out the door and L was already back to sleep. I couldn't blame him. New people usually took a lot out of him. And I could stand to go to sleep myself. I dropped my dress and crawled into bed. Maybe there was room for one more man in my life. One day, I'll tell him about how L and I became us, but tonight…That's not first date material. Maybe the next one, though…

 **A/N: So, baby's the jealous type. Not surprising. It's the same with dogs. You don't introduce a new alpha without the old one getting a little bothered. And there is going to be a part two with this. L was promised a crime scene, wasn't he? See you next chapter! xx**


	4. L Age 13 Pt 2

"Mama! Mama!" my baby came barreling into my office on a rainy Saturday afternoon.

"Jesus, L," I settled him, "What? What is it?"

"I heard a murder!" he sang, "There was a murder on the police scanner! You promised me a crime scene if I was pleasant with Ray. I was a delight. Come on! Let's go!"

"Alright, L," I settled him while he pulled on my sweater sleeve. I had all intentions of getting a few panels of the newest comic done, but I did promise him, "Alright. We can go. But first, you need to get your jacket and put your shoes on, ok?"

"Ok!" I've never seen L run so fast. His excitement was intoxicating. I guess I had to come through on that promise. Damn L's incredible memory. I thought that after a few months, this would've slipped his mind. So much for that idea.

When we got to the crime scene, my mothering instinct told me to cover L's eyes, but I knew he could handle it. This was his bread and butter. He ate this kind of thing up. As we got closer and closer to the police tape, pushing our way through the crowd, a familiar face appeared amongst all the other officers. I walked up behind him and slipped my hands in his pockets, "You think we could call this a date?"

"Hey, honey," Ray wrapped his arms around me, "You really shouldn't be here."

"I come to visit you at work and this is the thanks I get?" I teased, "Love you, too, Ray."

"This is a fresh murder scene," he pointed out, "You don't need to see this."

"I had to," I shrugged, "I made a promise to…"

I looked down at my hip and realized something was missing. Or someone, as the case may be. I turn my back for a few minutes and this is what happens. Fantastic. Now, only one question burned in my mind. Where in the hell did L go?

"Are you ok?" Ray worried, "What's wrong?"

"He was right here," I scanned the crowd, "L!"

"Hey, kid!" one of the officers called out, "This is a crime scene! You can't be here!"

"I know what you're looking for, Officer."

Found him. Ray and I ran to the altercation, "L, what are you doing?"

"I got it, Mama," he had such a fire in his eyes. One he only got when he was onto something.

"Go ahead, L," Ray allowed, "What do you got?"

"You can't be serious, Ray," the officer gave him a look.

"I'm dead serious," he assured, "Now, what are we looking for, L?"

"But he's just a…"

"He's also a genius," Ray stood up for him, "Anymore out of you and you're going in for interfering with an investigation. Go on, kiddo. What's up?"

"Tall, heavy set," L deduced, "Smoker."

"How do you know he was a smoker?" I wondered.

"The smell was on the victim's shirt."

"Wait a minute," Ray thought it over, "When did you get to the body?"

"Ten minutes ago," L brushed him off, "You were busy hitting on my mother."

"L!" I scolded him.

"His footprints gave everything else away," he was too in the zone. Yelling at him was just going to fall on deaf ears, "Did the victim have any enemies? Old flames? Business partners?"

"That's classified information," Ray told, "Sorry, L. But your input was very appreciated."

"I'm so proud of you, baby," I held my son against my hip. My little genius. My own little Sherlock. To think, the little boy on the sidewalk would turn out to be so clever.

"Mama…" L rubbed his eyes, "Can we go get ice cream?"

"Sure," I wasn't going to say no. He just aided a police investigation. I'd say he earned it. And the best part? Ray's understanding he's special. L's brilliant, not a burden. He could very well be the one on that principle alone. We had only been together for a few months, but it was starting to look awfully promising.

Later that night, a loud banging at the door woke me up. Who the hell would be on my door at three o'clock in the morning? I threw my robe on and headed for the door. The red and blue lights bouncing around my living room made my stomach drop. Oh, god…Something happened to Ray. The only think I could think of. It always made me nervous when he was working on a case like this. It put a target on his back.

Once I opened the door, my anxieties were eased, "Ray? What are you doing here? What's going on?"

"Where's your computer?" he asked, skipping all pleasantries.

"My office," I directed him, "Why?"

"Stand down, boys. If I need back up, I'll yell," Ray called the other officers off, "We had a security breach at the station. When we traced the IP address, your computer was the one hacking our systems."

"Someone must have broken in then," I figured, "I have no idea how to hack anything and I put L to bed hours ago."

"You might want to stay back," he advised, "We don't know if whoever broke in is dangerous or not. I don't want you getting hurt."

"We'll be fine," I assured, taking him to my office. Only to find my sweet little boy at my desk, the keyboard clacking away, "L?"

"Hi, Mama," his eyes didn't even break away from the screen.

"L, what are you doing?" Ray asked.

"I couldn't sleep," L said, pressing on.

"You do realize that hacking is illegal, right?" I hoped I had raised him better.

L stayed quiet, completely aware that what he did was wrong. I wasn't surprised he knew how to hack, but the fact that he hacked into the most secure and sensitive files worried me. I'm sure L wouldn't ever do it, but I'm sure someone would pay top dollar to have someone with his skills on their side.

"Come on, L," Ray pulled the chair out, "We have to go."

"Ray, no," I knew what he was doing, "He's just a kid. You can't arrest him."

"No one at the station's going to believe me," he said, "If I go back and tell them a kid hacked our system, I'd get evaluated for that. Not without him with me. But he did, technically, break the law. We'll go easy on him."

"Promise?" my voice broke.

"I promise," Ray kissed my forehead.

"Was I right?" L jumped down from the chair, "My description?"

"We have a list of suspects," Ray told him, "But you already knew that, didn't you?"

"Yes," L nodded, "But I haven't seen it yet. Will you show me?"

"Come on," Ray grabbed the door, "I have to take you to the station anyway."

"Ok."

As I watched my little angel get ushered into the back of a cop car, Ray pulled me tight against his chest, "I want you to go back inside and get some sleep, ok? I promise he's in good hands."

"Ok," I turned around and went back into my apartment to pace the floor. There was no way in hell I was going to go back to sleep after that. Dammit, L. I know you're smart, baby, but sometimes, you're too smart for your own good. I couldn't believe he hacked into police files. Collapsing under pure stress and exhaustion, I crashed on the couch.

The next morning, I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and a warmer voice in my ear, "Hey…Wake up, sweetheart."

"Ray?" I jumped, "Where's L?"

"He's fine," he settled me, joining me on the couch, "He's in bed. L put in a long night last night. I'd let him sleep for a while."

"What happened?" I rubbed my eyes, curling into his lap.

"He barely got a slap on the wrist."

"What?" I sat up in sheer disbelief, "How?"

"He helped us," Ray filled me in, "We got our guy. I don't think we could've done it without L. The kid's got one hell of a future in law enforcement. He's a genius."

"Savant from what I've been told," I corrected.

"But he's home safe and sound," he reassured, "Go back to sleep. You've probably had a rough night, too."

"Thank you, Ray," my voice shook, "Thank you so much."

"No problem," Ray grabbed the quilt off the recliner and covered me up, "Sleep. I'll call to check in later."

"Ok," I made myself comfortable and waited until he left to get back up. There was only one place I was going to be able to sleep right now. I poked my head in L's room and found him sleeping soundly. I'm sure he did put in a hard, long night. As soon as my body hit the mattress, L cuddled into my hip. Yeah. Everything was good again. And I couldn't be prouder of you, baby. But you scared the hell out of me. As long as you came home in one piece. That's all that matters.

 **A/N: I can definitely get behind the idea the L is too smart for his own good. And you know he'd try something like that. And be all passive about it. Because he's just…He's too much. I can't with him. So, I'll see you next chapter! xx**


	5. L Age 14

My little boy had grown up so much since he had been with me. When I first got L in my life, he'd hardly talk to me. Hell, it took him a month before he even said a word to me. Now? L had gained a bit of notoriety, becoming an unofficial detective with Ray. Because he was still so young, it had to be completely off the books, but L's gotten a few cases under his belt already.

Even better, he's growing closer with someone other than me. L and Ray had beautiful, unspoken friendship and it was nice to see him get attached to someone other than me. There was no way in hell L would open up to Ray like he would with me, but that's understandable. I'm his mother. Ray would be nothing more to L than a colleague.

But it was still a step in the right direction. Hopefully, one day, L could be more open with people. But until then, I sat perfectly content at my dining room table with my son and my boyfriend, enjoying a nice, quiet dinner. We had come a long way from promises of crime scenes any time L was a pure delight around Ray. And I couldn't have been happier.

"But there weren't any blood splatters on the sidewalk," L told, "There's no way the victim fell out of a window. Definitely not a fourth story window."

"Even though the victim has a history of suicidal tendencies?" Ray sat back, "Alright then, Mr. Smart Guy. What happened? How did the victim die?"

"Beaten," L figured, "Not quite sure what with. I'd have to look the body over again. But he was bashed in the head, not hard enough to show, but enough to cause damage and the killer moved the body, using the victim's past to cover their tracks."

"If we go back to the scene," Ray thought out loud, "You think we'll be able to find the murder weapon?"

"I don't see why not," L shrugged, "Unless they were smart and moved it."

"Boys," I stopped them, trying to keep food down, "Not at the table please. I don't need to hear about a murder scene while I'm eating."

"Sorry, Mama," L apologized.

"Sorry," Ray followed suit, "Murder cases get me kind of fired up."

"Where have I heard that one before?" I gave L a little wink, "You two might as well go get matching tattoos at this point."

"Ha, ha," Ray laughed sarcastically.

While L took a little more nervous approach, "No, thank you."

"I know, baby," I took his hand, "It was a joke. You don't like needles. Don't worry. It's ok."

"Oh…" he settled a little.

"Come on," I grabbed my plate, "Help me with the dishes."

"Ok."

I never expected to be the one to live a life quite like this. I was always expected to die by my six cats, but instead, I had my son that I didn't have to get stretch marks for, but loved him all the same. I had a wonderful man in my life that worshipped the ground I walked on and would do anything for not only me, but for L, too. I'm making a living at what I love. What more could I want?

"You know," I pulled Ray down to bed with me after L had fallen asleep, "Ever since you took L on, he's really picked up a lot from you."

"You think so?" Ray pulled me to his chest, playing with a loose strand of my hair.

"Yeah," I curled into his ribs, "He's so damn smart and I'm so proud of him. He's come so far, Ray. You don't even know the half of it."

"I think I have a good idea," he cradled me, "If I accidentally make an error on some paperwork, L could become my new partner and work with me full time."

"No," I shook my head, "I want him finishing school first. And he's going to stay an anonymous source. Nothing more. It's bad enough I have to worry when you're on a big case. I don't need that kind of stress with L, too. I want him to stay safe."

"He'll be fine," Ray promised, "Maybe I should take him to the range tomorrow."

"No," I put my foot down, "You're not taking L to a gun range."

"It's just the basement of the station," he pointed out, "It's not like we'd be very far."

"No," I repeated myself, "It's not happening. You can get that idea out of your head now."

"Ok," Ray let it go, "Just get some sleep. I'm going to get some work done in the morning, so I might not be here when you wake up. Is that ok?"

"Fine by me," I let out a little yawn, only to fall asleep shortly after.

Sure enough, when I woke up, Ray wasn't there. He had been replaced by a body pillow and a good morning note. That man was too much. I looked out the window and noticed it was pouring outside. There was no way I was going to want to do anything. I was feeling a lazy day, but I had to begrudgingly pull myself out of bed. Between my bladder and my baby, I had to get up.

I walked out to the living room and already found L on the couch with a bowl of cereal and a documentary on H.H. Holmes on my TV. Coffee. I needed coffee. I wasn't awake enough for serial killer documentaries, but I wasn't going to make him turn it. With my coffee in hand, I sat with L, "Morning, sweetheart."

"Morning, Mama," L's eyes were glued to the screen. I didn't have the heart to take him away from it.

"Ray went into work this morning," I told him, "It's just you and me for the day. What do you want to do?"

"I don't know," he shrugged.

With the weather being so rainy, today would've been a good day for a binge. I checked to see how much time L's documentary had left. Forty-five minutes. Fantastic. That was fine. I had no problem with that. Plenty of time for me to wake up, shower, put on a pair of yoga pants. No problem at all. But I had an idea. Ray wasn't going to ask for L unless he absolutely needed him. And I had introduced L to Sherlock Holmes when he was younger. I think it was time I introduce him to someone new.

"Tell you what," I smiled, "How about when this is over, we watch a movie? Sound good?"

"Good enough for me," L agreed, "Why not?"

"Awesome," I kissed the top of his head, "You go back to your H.H. Holmes."

"Ok, Mama." Like that was going to be hard.

I left L to his documentaries and went to the shelf of movies in my bedroom. Let's see. Which one to start with first? It's been a while since I've watched one of my favorites. Let's start with From Russia with Love, shall we? That sounds like a good idea. Don't get me wrong, I like my Dr. No, but From Russia with Love was my first. I couldn't turn that one down.

With a quick jump in and out of the shower, I got a bowl of pretzels and put the movie into the Blu-ray player. The familiar theme started to blare out of the speakers and L looked at me strange, "What are we watching?"

"How is it that you've been my child since you were five," I thought it over, "And I've never shown you a James Bond movie?"

"Because I've been busy with other things?" L figured, "The freelancing has me pretty occupied and school gets in the way."

"Alright, smartass," I chuckled, "Let me educate you. James Bond is quite possibly the pinnacle of the coolest people to ever walk this Earth."

"Why?"

"Because," I explained, "He's an international spy. He's MI6. He's got a way with women. He's just…He's just the coolest. I can't even begin to explain it to you. You just have to see for yourself."

"Alright," L made himself comfortable as we began the adventures of James Bond and the proof of his coolness. It didn't hurt that I was kind of a sucker for the Sean Connery era Bond movies. The more L paid attention to the movie, the more I watched him. L had gotten completely sucked in. Strange, since the only thing that did this for him were serial killer documentaries. But with every move Bond made, L couldn't help but be entirely enthralled by it.

Once the credits started to roll, I couldn't help but smile a little, "Well? What'd you think, baby?"

"Are there any more?" he asked, looking up at me with big, sparkly eyes.

"Altogether," I thought it over, "With this particular Bond, there are seven."

"Can we watch another one?" L begged.

"Sure," I nodded, "Go into my bedroom on my bookshelf and pick any one of them out from the far left middle shelf. Any one up until Live and Let Die with the exception of On Her Majesty's Secret Service."

"Ok," L took off like a bullet out of a gun to get another movie. Not surprised he fell in love. When he came back, he tripped over his own two feet and fell into the couch.

"Which one did you grab?" I wondered.

"Diamonds are Forever."

"That's my boy," I beamed. And that's how we killed the afternoon. Just me, my baby, my Bond. Can't complain. Three movies later, my phone started to go off right as the credits for Thunderball started to creep up the screen. I nudged L to get another movie and answered the call, "Hello?"

"Hi, honey," Ray sounded a little troubled, in turn, making me nervous.

"Hey," I chimed, hoping I was just overreacting, "What's up?"

"We need him," he sighed out, "We need L as soon as possible."

"Everything ok?" I sat up.

"Arson case," Ray told.

"Fun," I winced, "I'll tell him. We'll be there soon."

"Good," he perked up a little, "I love you."

"Love you, too," my heart skipped a beat as I put my phone back on the coffee table.

"I grabbed Goldfinger," L jumped back onto the couch.

"Well, grab your shoes instead," I broke the news, "We have to go."

"Where are we going?"

"Ray just called," I got up and grabbed my keys, "There's an arson case they're stumped on. They need you."

"Oh, ok," L got up and got his shoes and we were out the door. Whenever there's some sort of body count, he can't help himself. When we got to the crime scene, Ray let us through the caution tape, "What happened?"

"There was a man living here," Ray ran him through it, "Early thirties. His house went up in flames. Nothing but the gas can left."

"Any enemies?" L asked, going into full detective mode.

"Not that we know of," Ray went on, "We talked to his fiancée. She had been getting some phone calls for the past couple weeks of someone just calling to hang up. What do you make of that?"

"Maybe I should go talk to his fiancée," L thought it over, "Excuse me."

"L," I stopped him, "Be nice. Not too forward."

"Ok, Mama," L left Ray and me to find this poor guy's grieving fiancée.

"Maybe we should supervise?" Ray figured.

"Capital idea," I took his hand and followed L to a woman with bloodshot eyes and tearstained cheeks.

"Hi," L greeted her, "Can I ask you something?"

"I'm sorry," she apologized, "I'm not really in the mood, kid."

"I understand," he let it go, "I'm sorry about your fiancé."

"Thank you," the woman wiped her eyes, "You know, we just got engaged, too. Maybe a month ago. Jack and I had such a whirlwind romance. He had been broken up with his ex for six months before we met and when we did meet, he was all I wanted. I was on my way over here when the house burned. And now, no one can have him."

"I'm sure you'll find someone else," L brushed her off, coming back to Ray and me, "The fiancée isn't well. She's mentally ill. She's the one that torched the house. Find the victim's ex-girlfriend. She's probably next, if she's not dead already."

"L, there's no way," Ray gave him a look, "Look at her. She's obviously very upset about losing him. My money would be more on the ex-girlfriend than the fiancée. Why would she have burned the house down?"

"Her fingertips are black and her thumbnail was singed," L pointed out, "The victim and his ex had broken up six months ago. When he met her, she was looking for a man. She probably initiated the relationship. The victim probably realized he made a mistake when they split up and wanted to go back to her, but the fiancée wasn't having that. She felt threatened. If she couldn't have him, no one could. So, the house was burned down with him inside."

"And you're sure about this?"

"Positive."

"Excuse me!" Ray called after the grieving fiancée, "Do you think I could have a word with you?"

The woman caught a glimpse of L with Ray. Who had his badge on his belt. Sure enough, she bolted. And Ray, along with four other officers, chased after her. I wrapped my arm around L and pulled him to my side, "Good work, sweetheart."

"They see, but they don't observe," L sighed, "And that's what they bring me in for."

"You do know what this means, right?" I smiled.

"Ice cream?" he kept his fingers crossed.

"Excuse me," an older man tapped on my shoulder.

"Yes?"

"May I speak with you a moment?" he asked.

"Sure," I nodded, "L, go wait in the car. We'll get a couple pints and turn on Goldfinger when we get home, ok?"

"Ok," L ran off and left me with the strange man.

"Can I help you?" I wondered.

"You're L's mother, correct?"

"Yes," I was skeptical, "Who are you?"

"Your son is exceptional," he praised, "I've been keeping an eye on his work with the police for a while now and I run a home for gifted children like L. I'd like for him to come to our facilities."

"Excuse me?" I gave the man a look, "I'm sorry, but that sounds like the kind of thing a man with a van and free candy would say. Only instead of targeting average kids, you're after my son. I don't think so."

"Well," he took a card out of his pocket, "If you change your mind."

"I doubt I will," I scoffed, taking the card from him, "Thanks."

Pervert. I bet the business card wasn't even real. Although, I looked it over. And it seemed pretty legitimate. This guy wasn't screwing around. As soon as I got home, I put Goldfinger in for L and went for my office. Even the site on the card was legitimate. Wammy House, huh…? Maybe I should give this Watari guy a call and apologize.

 **A/N: First of all, I know. This is up kind of late. But we're cool, right? Of course we are. Now, I know I said this was going to be a little different from L's Wammy House upbringing. But I couldn't leave it out of the story altogether. And I do have a headcanon that even though L doesn't watch TV often, he can get on board with a documentary or two and he's a sucker for Bond movies. You can't tell me he wouldn't be.**

 **Now, another quick thing before I go, for those of you that know me, you know I'm a huge fan of Funko Pop figures. Can we take a brief moment to appreciate that there are FINALLY SOME DEATH NOTE FIGURES?! OH MY GOD! THEY'RE SO CUTE, TOO! THERE'S L, LIGHT, AND RYUK AND THEY'RE ALL SO ADORABLE! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!**

 **Now that I'm done spazzing, I'll see you next chapter. xx**


	6. L Age 14 Pt 2

**A/N: Hi, guys! As the title so clearly explains, this is a part 2 of last week's chapter, so if you haven't read that one first, you won't understand why certain things happen. I suggest you go do that now. This isn't going anywhere. But also! This is the first time I've ever had a guest review! So, if you're not familiar with the way I run things, I'll always answer guest reviews here (because I can't talk to you guys anywhere else :P) and I'll answer regular reviews in their respective inboxes. But I do love talking to all of you. Even though some of you don't always get the fastpass answers and have to wait a whole week before I talk to you, but regardless of all that…**

 **Janeash! Hello, dearest. I'm so glad you love those two. And later, I'm pretty sure you're going to love them a little more. I love their family dynamic and it warms my little heart to no end. As far as an update, they'll be here every Monday. I promise. Until the story's over. Which should probably be in a few weeks, actually. I didn't intend on this being some great, long epic. Hell, I didn't even plan on writing it past the first chapter. But because someone came in and said how cute this whole thing is, I thought I'd add a bit more…and a bit more…and here we are. So, I'm going to let you guys read and we'll talk at the end, ok?**

Do I tell him? I sat in my office for the past half hour twiddling that Watari guy's card between my fingers that's been burning in the back of my mind for the past week. All the while debating if I should tell L about it. He and I had one rule between us. No secrets. We told each other everything. Why should now be any different?

"L!" I called for him, "Can you come here please?"

The pitter patter of L's bare feet slapping against the hardwood floor echoed through the hall, "You wanted to see me, Mama?"

"Sit down," I told him, "We need to talk."

"Sure," L took one of the chairs in front of my desk, "What is it?"

"Do you remember when you and ray were taking care of that arson case?" I asked, "A man started talking to me?"

"Yes," he nodded, "What about it?"

"Well," I bit my tongue, "He wanted to see you."

"Me?"

"He has this place," I went on, "I've been doing some research on it for a couple days now. It's called Wammy House. Apparently, it's for gifted kids and I'd say you're pretty gifted."

"How do you figure?" L wondered.

"Sweetheart," I took his hands, "You're only fourteen and you're an anonymous consultant for the police. Your teachers, no matter how many advanced degrees they have, feel inferior to you. Your IQ isn't on a measurable scale for kids your age. You're gifted."

"So, about this Wammy House then," he moved me along, "What about it?"

"The man wanted you to come and visit," I explained, "I've done my reading on it."

"What would you do?"

"I honestly don't know," I sighed out, "That's entirely up to you."

"Maybe," L thought it over, "I could sleep on it? Do a little reading of my own?"

"That's fine," I allowed, "Let me know when you come to a decision, ok?"

"I will."

"Ok," I kissed his forehead, "Go to bed, baby."

"Yes, Mama," he latched around my waist, "I love you."

"I love you, too, L," I melted every time. And it never got old.

Once he got into bed, I figured it'd be a good time for Ray and me to do the same. The whole prospect of taking L to Wammy House still had me on edge. And if anyone was going to be able to calm me down aside from L, it'd be Ray. He knew how I was when it came to L. Since day one I had been protective of him. For the past nine years, I had been protective of him. And I wouldn't hesitate to jump down the throat of anyone who dared bring any harm to him.

We got in bed and almost as if acting on instinct (or maybe habit), I rolled into his chest, pulling his arm around me. For some reason, the warm embrace that I had come to know and love felt a little colder than usual. But I thought nothing of it. I just needed someone to cuddle with. Was that too much to ask for?

"Hey," Ray lifted my chin up to get a better look at my face, "What's wrong? You seem a little off."

"Well," I bit my lip, "It's L."

"Of course, it is," he rolled his eyes, "It always is. Why should this be any different?"

"But," I shook a little, "He's a big part of my life."

"I know."

"You said you were ok with that…"

"I know!" Ray snapped, "But it's like he's all you ever talk about! He's all anyone ever talks about! L this, L that. L, L, L, L, L. All day. All the time."

"Ray," my voice broke, "What are you saying?"

"Nothing," he rolled over, "Don't worry about it."

"Are you saying," I feared the worse, "you're jealous of my son?"

"He's not your son!" Ray growled, "He's just some stray you brought home. I can see why his parents abandoned the little freak. And once you get over your little fantasy of being his mommy, then you'll leave him, too!"

"Get out…" I kept my voice down, keeping one hell of a lid on things.

"Excuse me?"

"I said," I got a little more pissed off, "Get. Out. NOW!"

"Whatever," Ray grabbed his jacket off the back of my bedroom chair and slammed the door on the way out. Once I knew he was gone, I broke down.

Out of everyone I knew, Ray was the last one I thought would've been like that. That would've thrown L under the bus so quickly. Everyone else thought he was a freak. Everyone else thought there was something wrong with him. I thought Ray was like me. I thought he saw that L was perfectly fine. That he was special. I guess I was wrong. I really did think he was the one. So much for that idea.

"Mama?" L knocked on my door.

"What, L?" I wiped my eyes, trying my hardest to pull myself together.

"Are you alright?" he worried. With L's observation skills, I'm sure he knew what I was going to say already.

"Far from it," I caught my breath, "Grab a pint out of the freezer for me."

"Ok," L did a quick scan of the room, "Where's Ray?"

"Gone," my voice quivered as I pulled myself out of bed.

"So, that was the yelling," he assumed.

"Yeah," I took my ice cream from him, "Go back to bed, baby. You don't need to deal with this."

"I really don't think I should leave you, though," L took a spot next to me on the couch.

"I'll muddle through," I brushed him off, still trying to tough it out for the sake of appearances.

"You didn't leave me," he reminded me, "I think the Latin phrase is quid pro quo."

"L," I pulled him to my side, holding him tight, "Thank you. Have I told you how much I love you today?"

"I'm sure you have."

"Then, let me repeat myself," I kissed his cheek, "I love you. I love you so much."

"I love you, too, Mama," L reveled in my embrace, "And I made my decision about Wammy House."

"Oh?" I offered him a spoonful of salted caramel gelato, "And what's that?"

"Not yet," he reported, "I'm going to do some more reading and make a more informed decision. Just not right now."

"Ok," I let him go. But there was no way in hell I was going back to sleep. And I'm pretty sure I wasn't going to be left alone. Even if I wanted to be, "How tired are you, L?"

"Not at all," he said, "Why?"

"Go into my room," I directed him, "Go get You Only Live Twice. I'm in the mood for something violent and there's almost two hundred casualties in that movie."

"How do you know that?"

"I've seen it a time or two," I shrugged, "I might have counted. Exactly one hundred and ninety-six.

"Ok," L ran off to my bedroom to get the movie and the sweetheart even put it in for me. The couch had swallowed me and I didn't want to get up anyway, "Mama…"

"Yeah, baby?"

"Is Ray coming back?" he asked so innocently, resuming his position next to me.

"I don't think so."

"And my job at the precinct?"

"Probably no more," I cringed, "Sorry, L. Remind me not to get involved with anyone you work with again."

"Noted," L rested his head on my shoulder, "Although, once I graduate and I can actually freelance, I'm sure I could eventually take over Ray's job anyway."

And for the first time in what felt like a long time, I giggled hysterically. Something I so desperately needed. And I knew damn well where that came from, "That's my boy."

 **A/N: Originally, I wasn't going to have Ray be an asshole. But. Well. We all saw. We know what he did. What he said. And it made my tummy knot up. Now, if you have any suggestions for anything you want to see, you know where my inbox is. You know where my review section is. See you next chapter! xx**


	7. L Age 15

**A/N: Hi, guys! I hid something a little cheeky in this week's update. If you can find it, I'll give you spoilers for next week's chapter and a virtual hug.**

Every year, I looked forward to this day. I think I got more excited about it than L did. The one time of the year aside from Christmas where sleep deprivation is entirely worth it. As light shined in through his window, I sat at the edge of his bed. My sweet little baby. Seems like only yesterday I found L sitting by himself on the sidewalk and I vowed that he'd never be alone again. Now, no matter how much older he gets, I can't help but see that little boy on the sidewalk.

"L," I spoke softly, "Wake up, baby."

"Why?" L never was one for mornings.

"Don't you know what today is?" I asked as he rolled into the wall.

"No," he groaned, "Can I go back to sleep now? I don't have to go to school until tomorrow."

"L, sweetheart," I put my hand on his shoulder, "It's the thirty-first of October. What does that mean?"

"That I get to go back to sleep?" L pulled the blanket over his head.

I kissed my baby's cheek, "Happy birthday, L."

"Is that today?" he perked up a little more, "Wait a minute…That means…"

"That's right," I smiled, "And I already have your first one waiting for you."

L's little arms wrapped around me, "Thank you, Mama."

"You're welcome," I snuggled him, "Go on."

L ran into the kitchen and sat at the table. Every year on his birthday, we had a tradition of having cake for breakfast. Cake and crime were L's favorite things. A twenty-layer crepe cake sat in the middle of the table. I already caught L trying to be sneaky and trying to take a strawberry off the top.

"No," I stopped him, "You couldn't wait for me?"

"Sorry, Mama," L took his hand away.

"I worked hard on this, L," I beamed, "I hope you like it."

"Your cake never disappoints," he eyed up his piece.

"I don't want to pat myself on the back," I got a piece for myself, "But I am pretty good at what I do. No matter my medium. Which reminds me, I should probably get a hold of my agent and send him my next few chapters. He's probably itching."

In my out loud thinking, a puddle of drool sat in front of L, staring his cake down like a predator with its prey. Waiting to tear it apart. Beyond ready, "Can I, Mama?"

"Yes," I giggled a bit, "Go ahead."

My god, this kid ate like a marine! Then again, he always did. Ever since the day I brought him home. And in his defense, he did have crepes in front of him. Not just any crepes. My crepes. Out of everything I made him, nothing gave this kid a more voracious appetite than my crepes. In about thirty seconds flat, his first piece was gone, "Can I have more?"

"Sure," I cut him another piece, "What do you want to do today?"

"I want to solve a murder," he mumbled, already destroying his next piece, "But there aren't any…"

"That's a good thing, L," I assured, "Don't sound so down."

"But that means the world is boring again."

"If you're bored," I started clearing the table, "Then, come help me with your cake for later."

"Ok," L brought me his plate, "What kind of cake is it?"

"Chocolate," I threw the dishes in the sink, "I'm sure that'll be fine with you."

"Yes," he nodded, staring the already made chocolate cake down.

"Pick a frosting color," I told him, "Food coloring is in the drawer."

"I don't know," L went through all the colors I had, "Red, maybe?"

"I can do red," I took the bottle from him, "Color of passion?"

"Color of blood," he corrected, "Color of energy. Strength, power, determination."

"The closest you'll get to a crime scene today?" I shook my head, putting six drops in my mixer, "Feelings on buttercream?"

"Positively when it's done right," L stuck his finger in the bowl, "Not bad."

"Excuse me!" I scolded him, "Who said you could get in there?"

"I did."

"Soon," I settled, "Real food first."

"I can't just eat the frosting?" he asked.

"No."

"But…"

"L…"

"Fine," he gave in, "Later."

"How about this?" I let my mixer go, "How about you open your present?"

"Ok."

I went into my closet and got both of L's presents. If this wasn't proof that there was nothing I wouldn't do for this kid, nothing would ever be enough. I put more blood, sweat, and tears into this than what I did his cake. Both of them. I put the light green wrapped box in front of him and watched him tear into the paper.

"A book?" L thumbed through it.

"It's a very special book," I explained, "Look a little closer."

"Hold on," he started reading through it, "This is my first case."

"That's right."

"You," L gave me a look, "You wrote a manga about me?"

"You've always been my muse, baby," I wrapped an arm around him, "You know that. Since day one."

"This is," he kept looking through it, "This is amazing, Mama. Thank you."

"You're welcome, sweetheart," I kissed the top of his head, "And since you liked this so much, I don't have to give you your other present, right?"

"There's more?"

"I did get you something else," I grabbed the other box, "This one comes with a stipulation, though."

"What?" L wondered as I put a laptop box in his lap.

"Don't hack into anything you'll get yourself in trouble for," I winked, "Got it?"

"I won't," he gave me the biggest hug I've ever gotten from him. And my heart melted, "I love you, Mama."

"I love you, too," I cradled my son, "And when the stories in that book come true. When you do become the world's greatest detective, could you make me a promise?"

"Anything."

"Don't show your face," I begged, holding him a little tighter, "I want you to stay anonymous. I want you to stay safe. Don't do anything reckless."

"I promise," L rested his head on my shoulder, "No one will know my face. And my name is an initial. It'd be pretty difficult to track one letter."

"Thank you," I worried about this boy. I really did. I'm his mother. Of course, I'm going to worry. But I knew the kinds of dangers he'd be putting himself into. I just didn't want him hurt. Or worse. The last thing I wanted to do was get a call to go down to the morgue to ID his body.

Knock, knock.

"Were you expecting someone?" L asked, looking curiously at the door.

"No," I shared his sentiment, "Why don't you go grab a movie and we'll hang here for the day, ok?"

"Ok," L brought his laptop and his manga into his room and looked for a movie in my room while I checked the door.

When I opened it, I felt my heart sink, "Hello again."

"It's been a while, Watari," I kept my voice down, "A few months?"

"Well?" Watari asked, skipping the pleasantries, "Shall we proceed?"

"Now's not really the best time," I stepped outside, closing the door behind me.

"We need him," he reminded me, "If something big happens, we're going to need all the manpower we can get."

"I know," I bit my lip, dropping my gaze, "It's just that…Now's really not a good time. Not on his birthday."

"In one week," Watari demanded, "Have your answer by then."

"We'll visit next week," I countered, "We can talk then."

"Alright," he turned on his heel and left. I still had a few misgivings about Wammy House. And I'm sure Watari would answer any of my questions…

"Mama," L came scurrying out of my bedroom, "I got Goldeneye."

"That's fine, L," I nodded, "Go put it in."

But I don't know if I wanted to know the answers.

 **A/N: Sorry this is up so late, guys. And that it's kind of short. I had intentions of this being longer, but I'm going to save that for next week. Now, did you find it? Did you find my hint of cheekiness? A clue? It's in the beginning of this week's update. If you find it, leave it in the reviews and I'll give you a PM if it's right or not. See you next chapter! xx**


	8. L Age 15 Pt 2

**A/N: Hey there…You doing ok? How's your day been? Suspicious? I'm not acting suspicious. That's…silly. You're being silly, you silly goose. *sweating nervously***

It's a day all parents dread. A day I never wanted to come. But Watari was getting antsy for an answer. I knew I was going to end up hating myself for what was about to transpire, but it had to be done. I grabbed my keys off the kitchen counter, holding them shakily in my hand.

"L," I called for him.

"What?" he yelled from his bedroom. I could hear his keyboard clicking from a mile away.

"Come on," I stood in his doorway, "Get in the car."

"Ok," L put his shoes on, "Where are we going?"

"For a drive," I said flatly, "It's a beautiful day for it."

"It is a beautiful day," he agreed. And the two of us headed out. At least he wasn't skeptical. L was smart as a whip, but social cues never were his strong suit.

As we got closer and closer, I made a slight suggestion, "Hey, since we're already out and about, why don't we take that trip to Wammy House we've been putting off?"

"Ok," L nodded, "That's fine."

"Good," I took a left at the stoplight and stared heading toward the outskirts of town. Nice place. Big, brick building, stained glass windows. It looked like an old, renovated cathedral.

"Hello, L," Watari greeted us at the door.

"Who are you?" L asked, a little nervous.

"My name is Watari," he introduced himself, "I've been wanting to meet you for a long time. Your work with the police over the last couple of years has been riveting and I'm glad you finally decided to come here. Let's take a tour of the house, shall we?"

"Sure," L followed him and I trailed behind.

As Watari explained the vast and rich history of how Wammy House came about, I kept catching glimpses of a small figure following us. I wonder if this place is haunted. All that aside, I tried fighting back the overwhelming guilt in the pit of my stomach. I knew exactly how this was going to end. And it wasn't going to be pretty.

"And this," Watari led, "is the kitchen."

Almost immediately, to no surprise of my own, L's eye was drawn toward the stockpile of assorted chocolate on the counter. My baby always has been a little sugar junkie. For as long as I've known him, "Um, Watari…you don't mind if I…?"

"Hey," a taller blonde boy sat on the counter, breaking one of the bars in half, "This chocolate is all mine. Touch it and I'll cut you."

That was a little extreme. I mean, I liked my chocolate as much as the next guy, but threatening to cut someone over it? A bit brutal. After he grabbed about half a dozen more chocolate bars and left us, our little shadow peeked his head around the corner.

"Hi," I got down to his level. He couldn't have been much older than six, "Do you want to come out with us?"

The sweet little boy came out and held my hand, making my heart melt and bringing a smile to Watari's face, "I see you've met Near. He's usually quite shy, but it seems he's taken a liking to you."

"Well," I beamed, "I like you, too, Near."

"Near is actually the one that brought you to my attention, L," Watari told us while Near's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. He hid behind me as his round little cheeks turned a light shade of pink. In a way, Near reminded me a lot of L when I first brought him home, "He's been following your work very closely since you started."

"It's ok, sweetie," I assured, bringing Near back around, "You don't have to be so nervous. Looks like you have yourself a fan, L."

"It would appear so," L looked Near over like a calf up for slaughter. I had only seen that look on his face once. And I had a date that night.

"Near," Watari offered, "Would you like to finish the tour with us?"

Near gave a couple of quick nods and kept a tight grip on my hand. Poor thing was terrified. And by the look in his eyes, I was the only one to protect him. For however much longer I'm here, I'd be more than happy to do just that. I sat Near on my shoulders to keep him out of anyone else's reach. It still felt like yesterday that I held another shaky little boy in my arms like this.

As our tour came to an end, I put Near back on his own feet. However, he still latched onto my arm, a little more at ease than when we first met, but still a little twitchy. While we started going back toward the staircase, he started to inch closer and closer toward L. I knew that L was never really the type to make friends, but I had a feeling that he and Near would become close.

"Watari," L asked, "I noticed an empty bedroom upstairs. Did you recently have someone leave?"

"A couple months ago," Watari nodded, "Fortunately, we'll have someone to fill it."

"Who does it belong to?"

Watari looked over at me, still holding onto Near's hand, "You haven't told him?"

"Told me what?" L turned his attention toward me with fear in his eyes.

"L," I let Near go and took L's hand instead, "You know I love you, right?"

"Yeah…"

"And I want what's best for you?" I held him a little closer.

"Of course."

"That empty bedroom," I choked out, "It's for you, baby."

"What?" L went completely blank. Just as I suspected. And never wanted to see.

"You'll…" I blinked the tears out of my eyes, "You'll be staying here."

"But," he quivered, "I'll be coming home with you, right, Mama?"

I couldn't…I didn't have the heart to tell him no. Thankfully, Watari had picked up on my apprehension, "This is your home now, Lawliet."

If the news of the empty bedroom didn't make L freeze up, that did, "What did you call me? It sounds so familiar."

"That is your full name, isn't it?" Watari asked, fully aware that it is. Somebody did his research.

"Mama," L clung to me, "I don't want to stay here."

"L," I cradled him against my chest, "They're all like you. Everyone here is beyond super genius, just like you."

"But none of them are like you," his voice broke. Along with my heart.

"I'm sorry, baby," a few tears escaped my eyes, "You need to be here."

In that split second, L had pushed me off him completely, "I should've known. I never expected you to be the one to do it, though."

"L…"

"No one is permanent," he shook me off, "People. They're all temporary. My birth parents left me. My teachers like to pretend I don't exist. Any of the other kids at school think I'm a freak, despite the fact that they know I'm above them. I knew it was only a matter of time before you left me, too."

"L…" I could hardly speak. I never wanted this for him. Bigger and better things, yes, but this? I knew Wammy House would be good for him in the long run, but for now, it was going to kill him.

"Go!" L snapped, "If you're going to leave, you might as well leave. Prolonging the inevitable is just cruel."

I swallowed the lump swelling in my throat and left L in his room. How could I do something like that? I didn't really have much of a choice. Watari kind of talked me into it. I couldn't break down. Not here. Once I get in my car and get back home, I could break down then, but not here. I've never lost it in front of L before. I'm not starting now.

"Watari," I spoke slightly above a whisper.

"Yes?"

"He'll…" I hiccupped, "He'll adjust, right? You'll help him any way you can?"

"Of course," Watari promised, "L will be fine. As soon as a case comes across the wire, I'm sure he'll throw himself into it and everything will be fine. Finding out about it on the spot isn't going to be easy."

"Please," I took his hands, "Please take care of him. Take care of my baby."

"I will," he assured, "I swear to you on my life that L will be taken care of."

"Thank you," I breathed the crying out, sticking my head in L's door to find him sulking on his bed, "I love you, L…"

"You're lying to me," he growled under his breath, "Why are you still here?"

I'm sorry, L. I'm so sorry. Hopefully one day, you'll understand why I did this. I want you to have the world, but unfortunately, I can't give it to you. Wammy House can. Watari can. That doesn't mean I'm any less your Mama now than what I was when you were little. I'm not leaving you, sweetheart. I'm never leaving you. I got in my car and let Wammy House disappear into the shrinking horizon behind me.

 **A/N: I'm so sorry. This update was not an easy one for me to write. I knew it was coming and I know how the story's going to end. And it's not going to get any easier from here. Why do I write things that hurt? If you're looking for some sunny optimism to cheer yourself up with, I'm not even sure where to direct your attention. Because all of my stories have an element of hurt in them. Except "Happy Birthday, Sir." That's just a Royai smut fic. How about you just accept this virtual hug from me and know that my inbox is open for any additional emotional support and/or yelling. See you next chapter. xx**


	9. The First Year

An entire year passes. No phone call. No text. No e-mail. No letter. No smoke signals. Watari told me he'd take good care of L. I just wish I knew if that promise had been kept. Not a word from him. Any time I'd try calling Wammy House, it'd go straight to an answering machine.

When I brought L to Wammy House that day, I had no idea it'd be like this. I didn't know I'd never see my baby again. Which made me wonder if I did the right thing. He won't even talk to me, but I still miss L terribly. Then, two horrifying scenarios flashed through my mind. Either Watari failed to keep his promise and L is...No. I can't think like that. But maybe even worse than that...A year is a long time. And with the way L's brain works, processing and holding as much information as it possibly can, I can't help but worry. L wouldn't have...forgotten me, would he?

In the middle of my lamenting and light sobbing, my phone went off. Was all my worrying for nothing? Was it L? A text? Anything. I just waned to know he was ok. I jumped up from my empty Chinese take out box covered couch and grabbed my phone off my kitchen counter.

Of course, I got excited over nothing. Just an e-mail from my agent. I'm surprised my publisher hasn't dropped me and my agent hasn't washed his hands of me. I hadn't submitted anything in six months. I'm surprised they're not suing me for their hospital bills. I'm sure their ulcers are massive by this point.

Then again, when I write their bestselling graphic novel series, they're not getting rid of me. I needed time to create. Or at least, that's the line my agent had fed them. He was the only one who knew I wasn't working on my next great epic. I've been too busy wallowing in my empty depression. And he understood I needed time to get my head right.

That's weird. An invitation to a convention. They want me to do a Q&A and a meet and greet. Wow. I didn't think a story about a brilliant little boy solving the mysteries of the world would've been so wildly popular. I might as well go. Maybe it's just what I need to pull myself out of this. A bunch of spastic fans wanting to see me.

I woke up the next morning still not feeling great, but I'll muddle through. Hopefully, my agent would be there to handle everything. I could phone in the enthusiasm. I'm nothing but the vacant shell of what used to be a fully functioning artist and a loving mother. For the fans. I had to pull through. I could do that much, right?

I stepped out onto the stage and drank in the roar of the crowd. To be honest, it was kind of nice to be appreciated again. For a huge crowd of nerds that are a sucker for the mysteries my baby loved so much to be this excited to meet a woman that put her pants on one leg at a time like everyone else. I really wish L was here to see this.

"First question!" my agent called out. Of course, that sent the crowd into a frenzy. And he picked the first one.

"Hi!" a little girl, maybe a couple years younger than L lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Hi," I managed to muster a fake smile, "What's your question?"

"What made you decide to make the main character so young?"

"Well," I sat on the floor of the stage, unable to maintain my energy, "My muse and I. We had a very special relationship. I had adopted him when he was five. His birth parents had abandoned him, so I took him in and I became his mother. And my son had such a deep seeded love for mysteries. His first night at my apartment, he found a thick volume of Sherlock Holmes and I read it to him every night until we finished the series. In a way, I wrote this story for him. Even the main character looks kind of like him. For his birthday one year, he has the only hand drawn, hand written copy of the first book that he inspired."

"Could you imagine what that's worth right now?" the girl squealed, "I'd kill to get my hands on that."

"It's priceless," I got a bit defensive. Because if it were to even go up for sale, that would mean L doesn't have it anymore. That's not for anyone else to have. I doubt that he'd get rid of it. At least, I hoped he wouldn't.

"Alright," my agent settled me, shooting me the occasional glance to assess my mental state, "Thank you. Next question?"

"I have a question," another fan, a man this time, probably mid thirties, if I had to fathom a guess.

"Go ahead," I allowed, "What's your question?"

"What separates what you do from something like, say, Scooby Doo?"

"Um," I wasn't sure how to take that, "For one, the main character doesn't have a dog. He's not really a big fan. Not to mention, he's by himself, not with a team. There's no van. There's no wacky antics. There are no masked criminals. They're just bad guys being slapped with a strong sense of justice."

"If you ask me," he grumbled. Always a good way to start things, "What you do is extremely derivitive and blatant rip offs of what you see on the news. It's overrated trash and your storytelling is horrendous. Your art style's generic and your stories don't make any sense. How can someone die of hypothermia in a sauna? Do you not know how those work?"

"Alright," my agent did crowd control, "That's enough. Thank you."

"Ok," I got up, "We're done here. Thank you, everyone."

So much for a convention cheering me up. If I wasn't already dead inside enough, that guy was the final nail in the coffin. I needed to drown myself in the bottom of a bottle and not leave for another six months. I couldn't do this anymore. I needed something to help me cope. Drinking, smoking, anything that could make me numb for the last year, it had been in my body at least once. Even tried acid once, but after a bad trip, that wasn't going to happen again.

My agent canceled my meet and greet and I started my long walk home. I was too depressed to deal with any more people for the day. I know I can't please them all, but for whatever reason, that guy really got to me. Maybe because he insulted not only my livelihood, but my son as well. He made me have flashbacks to...him...Ray. But Ray was jealous of L's success and was threatened by it. Maybe this guy was the same thing.

On my way through the park, I tripped over a black notebook on the sidewalk. Someone must have dropped it. A small, leather-bound book with the words Death Note stamped into the cover. Huh. Easy there, edge lord. You're going to end up hurting yourself. I opened the cover to see if there happened to be a name in it. No name. In my line of work, paper's paper. And I always seemed to run out. I guess I'll take it with me.

When I got home, I threw my bag and the notebook on my kitchen counter and cracked open a bottle of merlot. I could stand something a little stronger, but I was out of whiskey and my scotch had to last me. And unfortunately, I didn't know who to score absinthe from.

"Hey there," a voice called out, "You think I could-"

"Who are you?" I squealed, scanning around my apartment. I was the only one here.

"Settle down, sweetheart," he assured, "I'm not here to hurt you. I'm just here for the notebook."

"What notebook?" I played dumb.

"That black one you're hiding under your bag," a black winged creature materialized in my kitchen, stealing an apple out of my fruit basket, "You see, that's mine."

"Who are you?" I took one of my katanas off the wall, pointing it at whatever this thing was.

"Mmm..." it moaned out, "Nothing quite like the apples from the human world."

"I said," I poked it with the tip of my blade, "Who are you? And what are you?"

"The name's Ryuk," it bowed to me with a nasty hint of sarcasm, "I'm a shinigami."

"A shinigami..." I thought back into my reserves of random knowledge that I've accumulated from years of being a writer, "A god of death..."

"That's right, princess," Ryuk took another apple, "Now, if you'd be so kind, could I have my Death Note back please?"

"What's a Death Note?" I asked, lowering my weapon.

"Why should I tell you?"

"Because you've eaten more of my apples in the past ten minutes than I have in the past six months," I pointed out, "And I was kind enough to get rid of my sword."

"Your sword wouldn't have done squat," Ryuk floated over my counter, "I'm a shinigami. I make death. I don't die."

"So, I'll ask you again," I repeated myself, "What's a Death Note?"

"Why should I tell you?" he gave me a dark grin.

"Because I asked nice."

"Aw, come on," Ryuk grumbled, "You had to get all mushy about it?"

"Maybe," I jumped up on a barstool.

"Fine," he caved, swiping the black notebook out from under my bag, "I'll tell you. This notebook is no ordinary notebook."

"I kind of figured."

"I told you already," Ryuk explained, "I'm a shinigami. I make death. This notebook is how I do it. If you write a person's name in this notebook, they'll die. It's that simple."

"That's a little morbid, don't you think?" I wondered, taking a heavy drink from my bottle of merlot, "You didn't want any of this, right?"

"Go ahead," he allowed, "It doesn't have the same effect on me. And I'm a shinigami. We're not exactly a pleasant bunch of sunshine and rainbows. Sorry to disappoint. And since you found my Death Note, I'm stuck with you for a while."

"Why?" I gave him a look, "Why would you be stuck with me because I have a Death Note?"

"Because," Ryuk continued to gorge himself, "You wouldn't happen to have any more apples, would you?"

"My God," I gasped, "Are apples like crack to you?"

"Can't have just one," he smirked, "Now, the only reason why I can't leave you is because you have my Death Note. I'm kind of bound to it. Unless you relinquish that notebook, I have to stay with whoever has it. Not my favorite thing about it, but it's made for some good company over the years."

"No," I shook my head, "I shouldn't have that kind of power. Writing someone's name and killing them instantly?"

"Not instantly," Ryuk corrected me, "It takes about six seconds for the Death Note to go into full effect. Although, you have forty seconds to specify their cause of death. Just in case you had something special in mind. There's a whole set of rules that go along with it."

"No," I reiterated, "I couldn't kill someone like that. I'm not that disturbed."

"You sure?" he pushed it toward me, "You don't want to give it a try? I'd go over those rules with you. And there are a few perks that can come along with this. There's no harm in having a shinigami in your back pocket."

Ring, ring!

"Hold that thought," I shut the shinigami in my kitchen up, grabbing my phone off the charger. Huh. Unknown number, "Hello?"

"Mama...?"

With that one word, my heart shattered to pieces, "L?"

"L?" Ryuk asked, "Who's L?"

"Hi," L spoke softly while I left Ryuk to finish the bag of apples in my pantry.

"Hey," I shut my office door behind me, doing the best I could to not start bawling, "So, I'm still Mama to you?"

"Of course you are," he assured me, "I...I've kind of come to miss you..."

"I miss you, too," I swallowed the swelling lump in the back of my throat.

"You know," L told, "I've tried calling a few times before."

"My phone hasn't rung much in months," I pointed out, "When did you try calling?"

"More than what I'd like to admit," he went on, "I never said I dialed the number. I just tried calling."

And my heart continued to spiderweb even more, "L..."

"Mama," he cut me off, "The last time I saw you, I said some things...Some things that I..."

"L," I hushed, "It's ok. I understand. I still love you and that's not going to change. Everything I've ever done for you has been out of love. We're good. Now, before you make Mama cry again, tell me how you've been."

"Well," L settled, "I've been tracking this hacker for the past couple months. He's also a generally despicable human being. You've probably heard of him. Roman Winters."

Roman Winters. I remembered seeing something on the news about him. He's a master hacker that's been cleaning out charity accounts lately and kills anyone in his way. And automatically, my mothering instincts kicked back up, "You are staying anonymous, right?"

"I promised you I would," L reminded me, "But then again, Winters is a master at what he does. There's nothing he can't hack into. What's to stop him from hacking into my systems, finding out about me, and coming to stop me?"

"L," my stomach turned, "That's not something to joke about."

"Who said I was joking?" his voice broke a bit, "Hopefully, it won't come to that."

"Please," I felt a tear run down my cheek, "Be careful. Stay safe, baby."

"I will, Mama," L promised, "I won't let him get that close."

"Thank you," I sighed out.

"Now, I have to go back to work," he let me go, "I need to put up some firewalls and recode my security system."

"That's fine," I shook a little, "Just...Stay safe. And keep in touch. You worry the hell out of me, L. The least you can do is shoot me a text saying you're alive."

"Yes, Mama," he reassured me.

"I love you, baby."

"I love you, too."

Click.

"How touching," Ryuk let himself in, "Boyfriend?"

"Son," I corrected, holding myself together with the adhearing power of a piece of bubblegum and a safety pin, "Sort of son."

"So?" he threw the Death Note on my desk, "What do you say, sweetheart? Can I have this back and you forget you ever met me?"

"Tell me more," I said flatly.

"Come again?"

"I'm listening, Ryuk," I demanded, "Explain the notebook to me. I want to know how the Death Note works."

"Alright," he praised, "Now, we're in business. Hold onto your seat. Things are about to get real interesting."

And the shinigami explained how his little black book worked. Write a name in the book, have someone's face in your mind, and they're dead. Just as simple as Ryuk said. I could write someone's cause of death as well. And I could write down the details in the following six minutes and forty seconds. If not, it'll just be a heart attack. I could do that.

Roman Winters...You're going after my baby and I can't allow that to happen. You're also the scum of the Earth, so I'm guessing no one will miss you too much. I wasn't going to write any random name in the Death Note. I wanted L to stay safe. Even if I couldn't be there physically for him, this was the next best option. Keeping my sweet, little angel safe would be entirely worth giving up my afterlife.

Let's see. If I remember correctly, Roman Winters wasn't exactly a large man, but he wasn't small either. About a medium build. Blue eyes. Black hair. Scar on his cheek. I had a vivid picture of the man in my mind and took a pen out of my drawer. Let's give this whole Death Note thing a shot, shall we?

Roman Winters. Cause of death? Hmm...I was giving way too much thought to this to not consider myself a sociopath. Then again, he'd be getting exactly what he deserved. I've written many a character death in my time. This should be easy for me. That's how I had to look at it. Just a character death. And if I had written a character that liked to syphon funds from charities and threatened my baby, I think it ought to be rather public. So, maybe a car accident? No. Too quick.

"Hey, Ryuk?"

"What?"

"How much control do I have over someone before they die?" I wondered.

"As long as it'd be something they could rationalize in their head," he explained, "As much as you want."

"So," I thought it over, "If I were to have someone tie themselves to someone else's bumper, they probably wouldn't go that far?"

"Depends on how screwed up the person already is."

Damn. Something tells me Winters wasn't screwed up. Aside from the kleptomania, he was probably the pinnacle of mental health. No matter. I was a creative person. I'm sure I could manage to find some other way for him to die. Perhaps I could go really cartoony with it and have him walk under an anvil or a piano. Or maybe a sharp beam could impale him.

I really was giving this far too much thought. I'm sure disease would be able to wipe him out. Most of his charities he's lifted from have been cancer. I bet I could give him a pretty aggressive case of it in every single major organ. It's settled. That's how Roman Winters was going to die. That's what he gets for picking on the wrong detective.

Roman Winters. Cause of death: Late stage cancer of the brain, heart, lungs, liver, kidneys, stomach, and intestines.

"And now," I dropped my pen, letting out a heavy sigh, "We wait."

"Cancer, huh?" Ryuk looked over my shoulder, "Ironic, isn't it?"

"What can I say?" I shrugged, "I like a little bit of irony once in a while. The occasional case of just desserts."

"So, what made you pick this guy?" he asked, "Old boyfriend? Former boss?"

"Criminal," I had a big stretch, "I don't want to kill good people that don't deserve it."

"A moral code?" Ryuk groaned, "Boring."

"There's no sense," I pointed out, getting up from my office chair, "If I kill someone that doesn't deserve it, I can't sleep at night. I'm going to bed."

"That's right," he remembered, "You humans need that whole sleep thing. Listen, you don't happen to have any more apples, do you?"

"I'll go out and get more in the morning," I crawled into the cool sheets, "All the shops are closed by now. What is it with you and apples?"

"Shinigami love their apples," Ryuk salivated, "The ones in the shinigami realm are vile. They're all black and shriveled. The ones in the human world, though? So bright red...So juicy...They're borderline orgasmic. It's like a human smoking a whole pack of cigarettes in one sitting."

"Fascinating," I pulled my blanket over me, "Good night, Ryuk."

"Come on," he begged, "Can't you stay up a little longer?"

"No," I shut my eyes, "Go play with someone else."

"You're the only one that can see me, though," Ryuk whined, "Unless someone else touches the Death Note, no one else knows I'm here. We went over that."

"Let me sleep," I snarled, "Or I'm writing your name in the Death Note."

"You can't do that either. Only a shinigami can write another shinigami's name in the notebook to kill them."

"Dammit," I pouted, "I promise you. When I get up tomorrow morning, I will get you some apples and a leash, if you're not careful."

"Didn't know you were into that sort of thing. Maybe I should get in bed with you and-"

"Ryuk..."

"Fine," he let it go, "I'll let you get some sleep. I'm sure I can find a way to keep myself busy."

"Why don't you go check on Winters?" I suggested, "See if he's dead yet."

"Alright," Ryuk slipped out the door and I finally got some sleep.

I couldn't believe I had a shinigami in my apartment. And for the next few days, Ryuk kept begging me to use it, but I couldn't bring myself to do it ever again. Besides, I had work to do. All I had to do was keep apples in the house and send my publisher a chapter a week. Everyone was happy.

A few days after I first used the Death Note, I woke up to the sound of my phone screeching in my ear, "Hello?"

"Hi, Mama," L answered on the other end.

"Hey, baby," I sat up in bed, "How've you been?"

"The kid again?" Ryuk assumed. I gave him a quick nod.

"Actually, I'm quite wonderful," L told me, "Have you heard?"

"Heard what?" I asked.

"You remember me telling you about that man Roman Winters?" L said, "The hacker that was getting too close to finding out who I am?"

"What about him?"

"He was found dead this morning," my heart stopped, "According to the coroner, Winters had some rather wicked late stage cancer that had spread everywhere. They were surprised he hadn't died sooner. I guess we know why he was taking the money in the first place now."

It works. I can't believe it. The notebook actually works. I don't know why I'm surprised. I had a damn shinigami on a leash because of this notebook. But at least I know L's going to be ok. Roman Winters isn't going to find him and the world is liberated from one less scumbag.

"That's great, sweetheart," I praised, "What now?"

"The money's being put back where it belongs," L reported, "Winters' family has been notified of his death. We chalk this one up as a win."

I got off the phone with L and pulled myself together a bit. It wasn't me that killed him. It was the aggressive late stage cancer. That I happened to give him. How could I have done such a thing? I took another human life. I made him suffer.

"So?" Ryuk asked again, "Am I getting my Death Note back?"

"No," I stood my ground. If there was one Roman Winters in the world after my baby, I'm sure there'd be more, "We're going to keep this around for insurance purposes."

"You're an interesting little human, aren't you?"

"Ryuk," I smiled a bit, "I think this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

 **A/N: So, lookie what we have here. A shinigami that you can't help but love. Ryuk is a sassy shinigami, though! And I honestly didn't think I'd introduce him so early. Now, next week, we're going to be taking a REALLY big time jump. And I mean a REALLY REALLY big time jump. I won't say how long, but Ryuk isn't the only familiar face we're going to see here. See you next chapter! xx**


	10. The Kira Investigation: Mama in Tokyo

**A/N: Because it's tomorrow and I have an Ouran update to do tomorrow, can we take a quick moment to wish our favorite little psychopath Light Yagami a very happy (early) birthday? Yes, I do celebrate anime character birthdays here. You should know that by now. Unless you're new. In that case, you know now. Usually, I celebrate them with a one-shot (see the one I did for Roy Mustang of Fullmetal Alchemist last year, appropriately titled Happy Birthday, Sir), but since I have a Death Note update today, I figured I'd leave that one alone. But nonetheless, happy birthday, Light! And…you know…kindly fuck off.**

It had been a while since the last time I had seen L. I didn't like going years without seeing his face, but it's been six. And I missed him terribly. At least he kept me updated. Last time I had heard from L, he was working some serial killer case out of the country.

Speaking of killers and death, I had to let Ryuk go, too. He was getting to be quite the handful. If I didn't give him an apple every hour on the hour, he'd stare at me like a dog while its human ate a T-bone steak. So, I relinquished my control of Ryuk's Death Note and set him free. Every good mother needs to know when to let her baby go sometime, right?

One afternoon, I had gotten a call from my agent asking me if I could make another convention trip. I hadn't touched the circuit in a couple of years. Why not? Little did I know, it wasn't a convention at all. When my graphic novel had become such a success, a studio wanted to make it into an anime. The studio executives wanted to meet me in person, so I was on the next plain and here I am. Amidst the hustle and bustle of Tokyo, enjoying a cup of tea brought to me by beautiful butlers in a dimly lit cafe. Life was good.

Ring, ring.

And it was about to get even better, "Hi, baby."

"Hi," L chimed on the other end, "Where are you right now?"

"Sitting in a butler cafe in Tokyo," I dropped another sugar cube in my tea, "Why?"

"You're in Tokyo?" he gasped.

"That's right."

"So am I," L sounded a little nervous, "Do you think you and I could meet up while you're here?"

"Sure," I couldn't say no to him, "Where do you want to meet? Shibuya? Aoyama?"

"My hotel," he picked, "I really need to keep a low profile these days."

"L," I started to sweat, "Is everything ok?"

"Things are a little dangerous," he explained, "That serial killer I told you about is getting closer and closer. I can't let him see my face."

"You are..." I quivered, "You're keeping your anonymity, right? No one knows your name other than Watari?"

"Always," he promised.

"Good," I sighed out, "So, where are you staying? What hotel?"

"Watari will give you the details," L told, "Make sure you keep your face covered when you come into the building."

"I will," I got up, "Is now a good time?"

"Of course."

"I'm on my way," I threw two hundred yen on my table, "I love you."

"I love you, too, Mama," L mumbled. Then, the line went dead.

Beep!

Wow. Watari was efficient. Like he was the Alfred to L's Batman. As long as this serial killer doesn't find out that L is Bruce Wayne, I'll be fine. That boy never could stay out of trouble, could he? Between the love he has for what he does and his strong sense of justice, I'm not surprised. Worried to all hell and going prematurely gray, yes. But surprised? Not in the least bit.

Once I got to the building L had told me about and Watari described in his text, I couldn't help but be a little overwhelmed. This place was huge. There's no way it was a standard hotel. When I walked in, I made sure my face was covered like L told me to.

Let's see. According to Watari's instructions, I take the stairs on the right of the moniters where some guy that looked about my age, maybe a bit younger, had dozed off. My god, he was like a security guard in a cartoon. From what I understand, though, L's been working around the clock to catch this guy, so I'm sure these guys have been, too. I'll let him get some sleep. There's no way that was comfortable, though. I grabbed a pillow off one of the couches and slid it under his head. Rest well, Mr. Cartoon Security Man.

I took the stairs up to an elevator and took it to the fifth floor where L said he'd be. Or where Watari said L would be. Room number seven. That was at the end of this hallway and to the left, right? Sure. This place was huge. I'm sure it'd be really easy to get lost in here. I knocked on L's door and waited.

And a younger man, younger than the guy watching the moniters answered. Cute, too. Younger than L, but not by much, I'm assuming, "Hi. Can I help you?"

"Hi," I smiled back, "I'm looking for L."

"I'm sorry," he shot me down, "Are you supposed to be in here? How did you get in?"

"Watari overrid the system for her," a familiar voice chimed behind him, "Come in."

"Hi, L," I beamed. It might have been six years, but my baby hadn't changed a bit.

"Hi," he sat across from me. And I noticed a shiny bracelet on his wrist...that attached to another shiny bracelet on the wrist of the guy that got the door with a long chain.

"Um, L," I gave him a look, "What's with the handcuffs? Did you get into my nightstand drawer by any chance?"

"The handcuffs are strictly for surveillance purposes," L explained, "They're a necessary evil."

"So, it's not a kinky thing?"

"Ryuzaki," the other guy asked, "Do you know this woman?"

"Ryuzaki?" I wondered, "Is that what you're going by these days? It's cute. It's got a ring to it."

"Light," L introduced, "This is my mother. Mama, this is Light Yagami. He's currently working this investigation with me."

"It's nice to meet you, Light." As I shook his hand, I noticed a little more than just his shiny bracelets. I saw a shadow behind Light that took a form I hadn't seen in quite some time. And that shadow recognized me. As soon as I was sure neither one of them were looking, I put my finger up to my lips, hoping to God he'd keep his mouth shut.

"It's nice to meet you, too," Light gave me a little forced smile, "I don't think I caught your name."

"You don't need to know her name, Light," L stopped him.

"So," I kicked my feet up on the coffee table, "What's new?"

"This serial killer we're after," L began, "It's starting to get personal. Like he's taunting me. It's really quite maddening actually."

"Any suspects?" I asked.

"A few," he went on, licking the bottom of an ice cream bowl, "However, two of those suspects are staying in this building, so I guess we can chalk that up as progress. By the looks of things, he's outsourcing some of his killings to someone that shares his power."

"Ryuzaki!" Light freaked, "You can't share information like that! What if she's Kira?"

"Mama, are you Kira?" L asked.

"Nope," I shook my head.

"She's clean."

"It's that simple?" Light's tirade continued, "All you had to do was ask her, she says no, and you believe her?"

"Of course," L nodded, "I trust this woman with my life. Only two people in the world can say they have that trust."

"But I still have to be handcuffed to you?"

"Yes."

"I'm guessing you're a suspect, aren't you, Light?" I assumed.

"But I'm not Kira!" he squealed, "How many times to I have to tell you?"

"You are getting awfully defensive," I pointed out, "I'm not surprised that L thinks you are."

"She makes a very valid point," L commended, "And your innocence has yet to be proven, Light."

"Great," Light pouted, "There's two of them."

"We'll come back to that," I put it on the back burner, "But L, you are taking care of yourself, right? You're sleeping, eating, drinking plenty of water?"

"Not necessarily," L stared into his laptop, "Too busy most of the time."

"Dammit, L," I rolled my eyes, "I have half a mind to move in here while I'm in Tokyo. I'm sure the studio executives will understand and give me a little time off."

"Studio executives?" Light came out of his sad corner.

"That's right," I wrapped my arms around my son, "I wrote a graphic novel series a few years ago that became rather popular very quickly. And this little angel was the one who inspired it. It's going to become an anime for the upcoming season."

"Congratulations, Mama," L praised, "If anyone deserves it, it's you."

"Thank you, baby," I kissed the top of his head, "But could you do me another favor?"

"What is it?"

"Don't OD on caffeine," I demanded, "And catch this Kira person. No matter how many of them there are. Take them down."

"I will," he swore.

"Right then!" I chirped, "I'm going to go grab something to eat. You want anything?"

"No, thank you," L went back to his computer.

"Hey, Light," Ryuk played him, "Ask her for some apples. I'm dying up here."

Light looked over his shoulder like someone was there talking to him with a quick glare. When I first met Ryuk, he did say that the only ones that can see him are those who have come in contact with his Death Note. Oh, Ryuk...You did it again, didn't you? Clumsy shinigami...

"Light?" I asked, looking over at Ryuk from the corner of my eye, "You want anything while I'm out?"

"Actually," he caved, "If you could bring back some fruit, that'd be nice."

"Sure," I agreed, "I'll be right back!"

I skipped downstairs and past the sleeping guy at the monitors. Sleep soundly, guy. Sleep soundly. Hopefully, there'd still be a market open at this time of day. If you wanted some apples, Ryuk, why didn't you just ask me? Why did you go through Light?

Unless...

Light's got a Death Note, too, doesn't he? And not just any Death Note. Light's got Ryuk's Death Note. And unfortunately, Ryuk on a leash. It's no wonder L suspects Light of being Kira. The power of a shinigami in the hands of the wrong person could prove to be disastrous, catastrophic. Hell, I'd even go as far as to say cataclysmic.

There was something in Light's eyes. He's been at this for a while. At least a few months. The Death Note changes people. If it's used for a prolonged amount of time, it could turn someone into a mass murderer. It's so simple. Write a name, kill a man, and walk away without anyone knowing.

It made me wonder if Light made the shinigami eye deal. No. Because if L's been at this as long as what Kira has, wouldn't Kira have killed L by now if he had the eyes? L had already made that connection that Kira needs a face. That's why he told me to keep mine hidden. But if Light had the eyes, L wouldn't have let him see me. He just kept my name out of it.

I guess I was safe. For now anyway. L wouldn't have done anything to put my life in danger like that. Not something so reckless. I had no doubt in my mind that Light was using a Death Note to kill anyone that stood in Kira's way and he was trying to figure out how to kill the number one person after him. Little did he know, it was an unwise move to piss off a mama tiger.

Especially when she played her cards right. I've said it once and I'll say it again. No one comes close to L. I'm going to protect him in any way I can. See, I was smart. After I last saw Ryuk and he went away never to be heard from again, I told him I was keeping the Death Note around for insurance purposes. I might not have wanted him hanging around me anymore, but that didn't mean I didn't keep a few pages, just in case.

 **A/N: So, Mama's got some tricks up her sleeve. And she knows that Light is Kira. Or has a better grasp on that than what L does. And she's at task force HQ possibly considering moving in because L isn't taking care of himself like he should! I would, too! This is how sick I am. I started rewatching Death Note again (because I was told by someone in the Ouran fic, a couple of someones actually, to take a knee for the weekend) and it got to the point where Light was giving his speech for his college entrance ceremony and once L got up to the podium, I kept squealing about how proud I was of my baby. And I realized how disturbed I was. And I glared at Light so much…But all that aside, we've gotten to the Kira investigation! We've gotten to the thick of the story. Things are about to get so much more exciting! Even more exciting than Matsuda (WHO DESERVED BETTER) sleeping at the monitors. So, I'm going to keep some spoilers to myself and I'll see you next chapter! xx**


	11. The Kira Investigation: L's Bedtime

L always knew how to hold an argument. If this boy didn't go into law enforcement, he would've made a damn fine lawyer. When I made my serious proposal of staying in his ivory towers of task force headquarters, L dug his heels in. He knew I'd be able to help and that this would make some good research to keep in the back of my brain. However, to no surprise, L didn't want me getting caught up in the Kira crossfire. That's when I pulled out every mother's trump card. The one thing L couldn't say no to. The because I said so. And it worked like a charm.

That's how I ended up with my own floor. The only place in the whole tower that was a total dead zone. L knew I wasn't Kira, so there was no reason for them. That might have been my suggestion, though. He always was a little paranoid. Like he told Light, though. Two people in this world had L's complete trust. I can only assume the other was Watari.

As I sat alone in my living room, doing some margin doodles to wind down for the night, I felt a slight, sudden chill in the air. That's weird. My door never opened, yet somehow, I still had a visitor. And this late at night, too? Gee...I wonder who on Earth this could have been.

"It's been a while, hasn't it, Ryuk?" I smiled a bit, thanking God for no wire taps.

"Hiya, sweetheart," my favorite shinigami floated behind me, "What brings a sweet girl like you to a place like this?"

"The L in there," I refreshed his memory, "That's my L. Do you not remember me talking about him?"

"I guess I never put two and two together," Ryuk shrugged, rocking himself over my coffee table. I see someone hasn't had an apple in a while. I had brought back half a dozen last time I went shopping. He couldn't make them last?

"More importantly," I shut my sketchbook, "What are you doing playing with Kira?"

"You know?" he wondered, "That was quick."

"I'm not blind, Ryuk," I giggled, "I know a shinigami with a Death Note when I see one."

"It's funny you mention that," Ryuk followed me to the kitchen, "You shouldn't be able to see me. You gave up the notebook, last time I checked."

"I did," I confirmed, sitting on my counter top, "Insurance, remember? You don't think I didn't keep a few pages?"

"Smart, little human," he praised, "You know, I do actually kind of miss having you around."

"Really?" I awed, "The new master isn't good enough?"

"Light's not as accommodating as you," Ryuk pouted, "He's exhausting and annoying and he keeps me cooped up in here and his little girlfriend I want to drive through the wall. But she's cute, so I put up with her."

"By the way," I grabbed an apple out of my basket and tossed it up in the air. Ryuk was just as bad as a dog with a tennis ball, "Here."

"You always were my favorite," he caught it in his mouth.

"Now," I kept another one on hand. More or less as...Let's call it a bargaining chip, "You wouldn't happen to know what Light has planned when it comes to L, would you?"

"Well," I watched Ryuk start to sweat the more I tossed my apple in the air. Every little catch. Every tiny reflection on the skin.

"While I'm young, Ryuk," I tossed, "This is my last one and all the shops are closed."

"He plans on killing him," Ryuk finished his first apple, "Gimme, gimme, gimme!"

"When?" I held it away from him.

"Like I'm telling you," he pried it away from me.

"I haven't told L about Light," I pointed out, "And I'm pretty sure I'm the only one in this building...Hell, in the world...That could kill you."

Ryuk froze mid bite, "You remember that, huh?"

One night, I had gotten rather low after a phone call with L and an even worse date from the internet. I gave great consideration to writing my own name in Ryuk's Death Note and calling it a day. But that damn shinigami saw my lifespan start to plummet. He wasn't going to let it go down any further, so instead of me ending it then and there, Ryuk found a way of stopping me. At first, I didn't take him seriously. That is, until he proved it to me.

"You told me you loved me, Ryuk," I smirked, suppressing the guilty feeling of using that against him.

"And I regret it ever since," he grumbled.

Knock, knock.

"Hush," I shoved my finger in his face and got my door, "Oh...Hi, Light."

"Hi, Natalya," Light greeted me. Natalya was L's idea. Light needed something to call me and L wasn't giving him my real name for security purposes. When L told me it was going to be Natalya, a warm, fuzzy feeling ran through my body. Goldeneye was his favorite Bond movie and L was a sucker for a Bond girl.

Why the hell would Light be at my door? Especially uninvited at this time of night, "Did you need me for something?"

"No," the other side of Light's handcuffs came around the corner, "I did, though."

"Hi, baby," I pulled L inside, "What brings you here?"

"Apparently, I need to sleep," he figured, "My cognitive reasoning has fallen by thirty percent and Light said I'm cranky."

"You are cranky," Light confirmed, "And you haven't slept in three days, Ryuzaki. That's not good for a person."

"I'm not just a person," L pointed out.

"Yes, we know," Light rolled his eyes, "But whether you want to admit it or not, you're still human."

"So, boys," I split them up before a fight broke out, "Why are you at my door at this ungodly hour?"

"Well," L bit his tongue, "I can't sleep."

"And how is this news to me?" I joked.

"Do you think I could stay up here tonight?" L asked so innocent, so sweetly.

"Of course, L," I assured, "I'm almost insulted you had to ask."

"Light," he glanced over his shoulder, "What you're about to see is proof of my humanity in its highest form. If you could keep it between us, I'd really appreciate it."

"Sure," Light wrote him off as crazy. Just like everyone else.

"Come on," I took L's hand that wasn't attached to Light. Like riding a bike. L thumbed through my DVDs and put in From Russia with Love. As the theme bounced around the room, Light glanced over my shoulder, no doubt to see Ryuk floating there, "Light? Are you ok? You look like you just saw a ghost."

"It's nothing," he shook it off, "I thought I heard something."

"That's the TV," L climbed onto my bed, "Everything's fine."

"Ok," I got on the other side. Instinctively, my baby curled into my side. Yep. Like riding a bike. I had L. L had me. Just like it's always been. To no shock of my own, I don't think this poor angel made it through the opening credits. Sleeping like a baby. Light did say he hadn't slept in three days. And with L working this investigation, he's probably been running on pure caffeine.

"I don't think I've ever actually seen Ryuzaki sleep," Light chuckled to himself.

"It's quite a sight, isn't it?" I cradled my baby against my hip.

"It's like he's two different people."

"We used to do this all the time when he was little," I told, "It was how I got him to go to sleep. James Bond movies and a scoop of rocky road before bed every single night. I miss those days."

"It's strange to think he has actual emotions," he sighed, "Ryuzaki's usually such a robot. When he said this was proof of his humanity in extremes, he wasn't kidding."

"You know, Light," I stared a hole through him, keeping a light mood, "L is my entire world. And I'd do anything for him. I'd even kill a man. And if anyone tried to hurt him, they'd regret it. I wouldn't hesitate to hurt them back, even if it meant killing them. Even if it were Kira himself, I can promise you that my name would be their last words."

"You almost sound like Kira," Light looked awfully nervous for someone who was innocent in all this, "Are you sure you're not, Natalya?"

"Positive," I smiled, "Like I said. L is my whole world. Give me a good mother that wouldn't protect her baby. I was in a bad place when L came into my life. Even worse when he left..."

"No wire taps?" Ryuk chimed in, "Huh. Aren't you special?"

"So, Light," I pretended not to hear him, "If I ask you something, do you promise to answer it honestly?"

"Of course," Light swore, "What is it?"

"Are you Kira?" I asked, "This is the only floor that's not bugged and when L sleeps, he's borderline dead, so he can't hear you."

"I'm not, though!" he squeaked, digging himself further in the hole and making L shift around a little, "I'm not Kira!"

Still lying to me, are we, Light? Ok. If that's how you want to play this, "I believe you."

And I trust you as far as I can throw you. Light relaxed in his chair a little, "At least someone does. Hey, Natalya, can I ask you a favor?"

"What is it?" Hell no.

"Could you convince Ryuzaki I'm not Kira?" he begged, "At least enough to get the handcuffs off?"

"I can try," I shrugged him off, "But that's all on him. L's stubborn when it comes to his investigations. Sorry, Light."

There is no way in hell I'd ever let you out of L's sight. He's keeping an eye on you for a reason. If you're in L's line of sight, you can't use your Death Note. I'm sure you wouldn't want that little secret getting out, would you, Kira? Because all it would take is one little word from me and L would blindly follow me into anything. He already suspects you above all else. What's a little nudge in the right direction going to hurt? Consider this your warning, Light Yagami. You don't touch my baby.

 **A/N: I very well could be ending this next week. But because I'm sure there'd be some people that'd be a tad cross with me, I won't. Two weeks then. I promise it'll be a very satisfying ending. Pinky promise! But next week, we'll be making an introduction of someone new and…Oh, next week…Next week's going to be good. See you next chapter! xx**


	12. The Kira Investigation: Misa's Stalker

**A/N: You guys…If today's update kind of sucks, I'm sorry. I'm not feeling too hot. I'm tired as balls and this nearly didn't happen. It's a pure crack chapter. One of those things that buzzed like angry hornets in the back of my brain and wouldn't shut up until I put it to paper. So…And I'm so sorry it's up so late. Like I said, this day has been an uphill struggle on a slippery slope. Now, I'm going to shut up. You're going to read today's chapter. Good? Good.**

After a few months at task force headquarters, things started to take a turn. Although L was looking much, much better and I could sleep at night knowing he's well taken care of (I'm sure Watari was doing the best he could. L could be rather stubborn.), tensions were running high. Light's murderous eyes turned bloodshot after a few days of staring at the monitors for answers that wouldn't point to him. L ran on nothing but caffeine and spite. And to make matters worse, Light's girlfriend Misa had gotten herself caught in a bind.

"Light," she sat on his lap, worry on her face, "Can I talk to you? Privately?"

"If by privately," L chimed in, not helping the cause, "You mean the three of us, go ahead, Misa. We're listening."

"We're kind of busy, Misa," Light shook her off, "What do you want?"

"We need to talk," Misa begged, "It's important."

"I told you," L reiterated, "We're listening."

"This is between me and my boyfriend," she glared a hole through him, "This is none of your business."

"Anything you do is my business." That poor boy never knew when to keep his mouth shut.

"Alright, alright," I stepped in, "Misa, what's the matter, honey?"

"Well," Misa quivered, "I have a problem."

"What kind of problem?" my maternal instincts kicked in full force.

"I think..." she dropped her gaze, "I think I have a stalker. Like, a real stalker. Not like Ryuzaki, but someone dangerous."

"Not like Ryuzaki...?" I looked over at my son...who I loved and was always proud of...except for this, "L, you didn't..."

"I told you a million times over," he took a bite of the cake Watari had brought him earlier, "I wasn't stalking you, Misa. You were brought in on suspicion for being the second Kira."

"You had me tied up all fetishy, though," Misa defended, "Tell me a stalker that wouldn't do that."

"L..." I sighed out, "I'm starting to think you did get into my nightstand once or twice. I swear I raised you better."

"I said, I wasn't stalking you," L assured, "It's investigation. Was I not right?"

"You tortured her!" Light stepped up, "I've seen those tapes!"

"Again," I settled everyone down, "I think we could all use a little time out of the tower. Everyone's gone home and Misa, you have a shoot later, right?"

"That's right," she nodded.

"I don't see why we couldn't go keep an eye on her," I suggested.

"We have an investigation to focus on," L pointed out, "We can't go play Misa's bodyguards."

"L," I countered, "The investigation is currently at a standstill and we're all going a little stir crazy. If we go do this, Misa stays safe. We might actually catch her stalker. For all we know, it could be Kira. If Misa's suspected of being the second Kira, there's no doubt that he's going to want to find her. And if he does take her and forces her to work with him, God only knows what he'd do to her. Not only would we lose a possible lead on the guy we're trying to catch in the first place, but we'd lose Misa, too."

"Not an option," Light put his foot down.

As much as I hated leading L down a wrong path, (I had my reasons. I wanted to make Light squirm a little more. He deserved some slow mental torture.) I had to. He did need to get out once in a while or he'd lose his mind, too. Despite every fiber of his being saying otherwise, L let out a heavy sigh of defeat, "Fine. We can go watch Misa."

"But what about the handcuffs?" Light asked, "Wouldn't people wonder why two guys are handcuffed together outside Misa Misa's photoshoot?"

"Um..." I was going to hate myself for this, "I have an idea. A way for you to keep an eye on Light and for Light to keep an eye on Misa."

"I'm listening," L waited with baited breath to hear my plan.

"Well," I bit my tongue, "You could play Light's girlfriend..."

L looked rather intrigued, but Light had gone completely pale, "What?"

"Think about it," I explained myself, "L could take off the handcuffs and you two could just hold hands. L, you could keep an eye on Light and he wouldn't be able to run off on you."

"I'd rather not," L shot me down, "It sounds more involved than what I'm willing to deal with today."

"Is it the undercover thing that's bothering you?" I sat on the desktop.

"No," he said, "It's not keeping Light on a short leash."

"Hey!"

That's when I started to play a little dirty, "You know, I remember reading you something when you were little."

"You read me a lot of things when I was little, Mama," L reminded me.

"But I seem to remember," I smirked, "a certain someone running a flower cart in front of their flat. And offering some to the detective inspector from Scotland Yard. I mean, the detective inspector saw right through the woman's disguise."

"That wasn't a woman," he grumbled, "That was a man. That was Sherlock Holmes and that was low."

"Come on, L," I insisted, "Even Sherlock went undercover. This is nothing."

"I don't know," L shifted in his chair.

"Once we get started," I took his hand, "I promise you'll be fine."

"That's actually a good idea," Misa praised, glancing L over, "But I don't think I have anything that'll fit him, Natalya."

"Don't worry about that," I assured, "Because I probably do."

"Alright," L caved, "I'll do it."

"Yay!" Misa squealed, "I have my own bodyguards!"

"Yeah," Light pouted, "Fantastic."

"Anything to keep her safe, right, Light?" I assumed, curious as to what his response would be.

"I guess," he wrapped his arms around her waist, making her turn bright red.

"Come on," I pulled L and Light upstairs with Misa trailing close behind to my floor, "You, sit. Misa, make yourself at home."

"So," she wondered, "How are we doing this?"

"Hold on," L interjected, "Why do I have to be Light's girlfriend? Why can't he be mine?"

"You do realize how ridiculous this sounds, right?" Light defended.

"Light's taller," I brushed him off, "And you have softer features than him."

"Fine," L submitted. This was going to be a fun afternoon. I could tell.

"It's kind of warm outside today, isn't it?" I figured, stepping onto my balcony, feeling the warmth and the occasional cool breeze, "I'm sure it'll cool off later tonight, though."

"Hey, Natalya," Misa came out of my bedroom with a long, dark blue maxi skirt, "What do you think about this?"

"I like it," I applauded, "That's one of my favorite skirts, too. I have a white tank top in there, too. Grab that."

"You have quite an eye," she gushed, "I wouldn't mind having you around for my shoots."

"I'll be there," I promised, "I'm not missing this."

Besides, L isn't the only one keeping an eye on Light. Not to mention, I could get some alone time with Ryuk once in a while. I'm sure we could sneak of under the guise of me going to get food or drinks or find a bathroom. He might have missed me a bit, but I kind of missed him, too. Sure, he could be the occasional pain in the ass shinigami, but he had his merits.

"Is this the one you were talking about?" Misa wondered, coming out with a hanger in her hand.

"That's the one," I confirmed, "L, go get dressed."

"Ok," he took my skirt off the chair and the shirt out of Misa's hand. That was a thin shirt, upon further thought and speculation.

"Hey, Misa," I gave her a discreet nudge, "You wouldn't happen to have any padded bras, would you?"

"What?!" she squealed.

"There's no shame in it," I kept my voice down, "I promise I won't tell Light. If either one of them ask, I'll say it's mine."

Misa pouted a little, "I have a couple water bras, but I swear to God, Natalya! If you tell Light!"

"I'm not going to," I swore, "Go get them."

"Both of them?"

"Both of them," I sent her on her way.

"Actually," L came out of my bathroom, wearing my skirt better than me, "This is quite comfortable."

"See?" I tapped his shoulder, "No pants are the best pants! And the skirt's long enough that I won't have to wax your legs. I love you, L. It's bad enough I'm putting you through what's to come. Unnecessary bodily pain is not on that list."

"Good," he sat back down in a way that only L could, "Where did Misa go?"

"She had to grab some things," I resituated his legs, "Unfortunately, in the skirt, you can't sit like that, baby. I'm sorry."

"Why not?"

"Because..." Miles to go before I sleep with this boy, "You just can't. You don't need to show that much to the world."

"The things I sacrifice for you, Light," L sighed.

"I still can't believe we're doing this," Light rolled his eyes.

"Just imagine what things would be like if I wasn't here," I pointed out, holding L on my hip, "Something tells me that Misa left unattended would be an absolute disaster."

"It is," Light assured, "I've seen that aftermath."

I dug around my bathroom some more and got a bottle of light purple nail polish out of the drawer, "L, give me your hands."

"Natalya!" Misa chimed from the front door, "I'm back!"

"Leave them in the bathroom, Misa," I told her.

"Mama," L wondered, "What do you need my hands for?"

"Just relax," I settled him, noticing his apprehension, "Honestly, baby. If I didn't know any better, I'd think I was waterboarding you. Trust me. You know you can."

"I know..."

"Actually," I thought it over, twisting the top back on the bottle, "That'd probably be a better idea."

"What?"

"Come on," I pulled him in the bathroom.

"What are we doing now?" I could see L's patience wearing thin. And he was about to kill me.

"Drop the top of your shirt," I took Misa's bras out of the bag. Damn, these were cute. I didn't need them, but I kind of wanted both of them. Black and red lace was such a pretty combination.

"Why?" he cringed.

"Because," I slid his arms through the straps, "You can't fill out your shirt on your own. That's what this is for."

"It feels too tight," L gasped, "Is it really necessary?"

"Sorry, baby," I kissed his cheek, "It's going to feel like that. It'll feel like a prison for a while, but once we get back here and you undo the snaps, it's the best feeling in the world."

"Do we have anything else to do after this?" he gnawed on the side of his thumb.

"Miles to go, L," I held him close, "Miles to go."

"I'm already regretting this."

"It'll be fine," I nudged him out of the bathroom, "It won't take much longer. The nail polish dries quick and it only takes one coat. And then, we have a few more odds and ends to do and we'll be done."

"Wow, Natalya," Misa gasped, "Nice work. You do make a pretty girl, Ryuzaki."

"Thank you, Misa," L blushed a little. If I knew my son as well as I thought I did, under the cold, calculating exterior, he might have a little thing for Misa. Then again, I saw that between him and Light, too. I couldn't blame him. Misa's a cutie pie and Light's got that whole bad boy thing going for him. L doesn't know that, but he's suspicious.

"You know," Misa thought out loud, "You'll probably need a new name, too."

"I got one," I chirped, "If I were to have had a daughter, I would've named her Kana."

"I like it!" she squeaked, "Let's do that!"

"What would I need another name for?" L wondered, "If we're just going to be watching from a distance."

"In case people ask," I figured, riding Misa's train of thought, "You two met at a night class. The first thing he noticed about you was your laser focus and how mesmerizing it was to watch your hands move. The first thing you noticed about him were his eyes. You thought there was something about them that piqued your interest. Like an air of mystery. You two have been together for three months, but it's getting pretty serious."

"Was that off the top of your head?" Misa asked, staring in amazement.

"Yep!" I smiled, "It's been a while since I flexed the writing muscle. That felt kind of good."

"That was impressive!" she went on.

I looked over at the other side of the couch where L's better half sat brooding, "Light? You're awfully quiet. Thoughts?"

"I'm not exactly thrilled Ryuzaki's going to be my girlfriend," Light folded, "But if it's to keep Misa safe, then I'll have to grit my teeth and live through it."

"Aww! Light!" Misa jumped in his lap, "You're such a softy! I knew you really loved me! And it's a good thing the tabloids don't know about you. Think how the gossip magazines would be if they knew my boyfriend was cheating on me with someone like Ryuzaki."

"I'm trying not to be offended," L processed.

"Hey, Misa..." I asked, "Do you have any fake lashes?"

"Yeah," she nodded, "Why?"

"I need some," I looked over at L.

"Mama," L kept his voice down, "I've learned to fear that look."

"Keep your hands still," I wasn't above beating his knuckles with a ruler, "That's probably the steadiest paint job I've ever done in my life on another person. I refuse to let it be ruined."

"Why did I let you talk me into this?" he grumbled.

"Because," I beamed, "You love me."

"That's one way of putting it..."

"Here, Natalya," Misa handed me her lash case, "The glue's in there, too."

"Thank you, sweetie," I popped it open, "L, shut your eyes."

"Why?" he worried.

"Why are you fighting me so much today?" I giggled, "Trust me. Remember? Do you really think I'd do anything to put you in harm's way? I'm about to glue fake eyelashes on your eyelid."

"I have eyelashes."

"You're about to get more."

Light snickered a bit in the corner, "I'm so glad I'm not the one doing this."

"Light," L spoke softly while I held the lashes in place.

"What?"

"I thought you should know," he explained, "Your probability of being Kira just went up by forty percent."

"What?" Light freaked, "Why?!"

"Kira would also delight in my misery," L justified as I finished them off with a thick line of liquid eyeliner.

"How many times do I have to tell you, Ryuzaki?" his tirade pressed on, "I'm not Kira! Tell him, Natalya! You said it yourself that I'm not Kira!"

"Mama...?" L opened his eyes again, looking up at me, "You don't think Light is Kira?"

"I told you I believed you," I clarified, "You could still be Kira."

"Fifty percent," L changed his mind, "I trust her judgment."

"Hey!" Light squealed.

"Relax, Light," Misa nuzzled her face in her boyfriend's chest, "At least my stalker might go away if you're there."

"But Misa," he settled, "I'm going to be with another girl. I can't be your boyfriend for the sake of the tabloids."

"Say Ryuzaki's your sister then!" she sang.

"Why would he be handcuffed to his sister?" L poked a hole in her logic.

"You said we weren't going to be handcuffed," Light reminded him.

"That's right," I agreed, "You two are going to hold hands instead. Like it's your first grade field trip all over again."

"You're right..." Misa pouted.

"Ok, L," I finished, "You're all done."

"Finally," L breathed a heavy sigh of relief, "That was excruciating."

"Wow, baby," I awed at my little angel, pulling half his hair back and out of his face, "You really do make a cute little girl."

"My eyes feel heavy," he blinked a few times.

"You'll get used to it," I promised, "Ready then?"

"Can we undo the handcuffs first?" Light begged.

"Hold on," I stopped him, "What's her name?"

"Misa?"

"No," I shook my head, "What's your girlfriend's name, Light?"

"Misa."

"Jesus," I rolled my eyes, "For being a genius, you're rather dense, aren't you?"

"You're talking about Ryuzaki, aren't you?"

"We've been together for three months, Light," L pointed out, lacing his fingers with Light's, "You'd think you'd know my name by now."

"There," I shoved my finger in L's face, "Right there is what we're looking for. That sounded so genuine. Good for you, L. I'm proud of you. I raised you well."

"Let's go!" Misa squealed, running for the door.

"We're going to try this again," I turned my attention toward her boyfriend, "Light, what's your girlfriend's name?"

"Kana," he figured it out.

"How did you meet?"

"It was a night class," L told, "Advanced physics?"

"I could say advanced physics," Light agreed, "The first thing I noticed was how quickly Kana's hands worked. It was really quite mesmerizing."

"And L?" I asked, "What was the first thing you noticed about Light?"

"His eyes," L elaborated, "Something in his eyes. Enigmatic, but something dark, mysterious. Almost like those of someone who has seen battle like none other and with a strong sense of justice."

"You can tell that all from his eyes?" I marveled, "You are my son, aren't you?"

"That's what the papers say," he shrugged, "Can we get this over with now?"

"Yes," I pulled L to my hip, "We can go now, sweetheart."

The four of us left task force headquarters and headed for a nearby park where Misa's photo shoot was scheduled to be. A small crowd had already begun to form. Not surprised. Misa's gotten quite a bit of notoriety lately. Her modeling career has really picked up steam. This was definitely nothing like what I've been around. Recording equipment, computers, soundboards, screens. That was my wheelhouse. Actual cameras? Totally different ballgame.

As Misa's shoot went on, Light, L, and I kept our eyes peeled for anyone that might look suspicious. Nothing. The park was well lit. There were too many people. Kira was hiding in plain sight. Well...I say plain sight. I could actually see the shinigami floating with us. The only other one that could see Ryuk was Light. And Light doesn't know I can see Ryuk.

"Oh, my!" a woman came up to us, "You are too cute!"

"Thank you," I blushed, assuming she was talking to me.

"Not you," she pushed me aside, and Light, too, taking a seat next to L, "You! You are just adorable!"

L was cornered. I knew what happened when L got cornered. He went completely silent. Uh-oh. Not only are we distracted from our main objective, but L might be combusting soon. I tapped on the woman's shoulder, "Excuse me..."

"Oh!" she spun around, "You must be her manager, right?"

"I think you have the wrong-"

"You know, sweetie," the woman put her hand up to L's cheek, making him freeze up even more, "You have such a pretty face. And you have that sweet, innocent, Lolita thing going on. How would you like some work?"

"Excuse me, ma'am," Light stepped in, "My girlfriend and I were in the middle of a date. She has separation anxiety, so her mother came with us. She's not a model."

"Oh," the woman glanced down at her feet, "I'm so sorry. Forgive me. It's just that she's so cute! I can't get over her! If I were your mother, honey, I wouldn't stop gushing over you! Please tell me you had her in beauty pageants when she was younger."

"No," I shook my head, "I couldn't do that to her. Now, if you'll excuse us."

"Are you sure you're not looking for work?" she insisted, making me want to punch her.

"Positive," I put my foot down, "Please leave."

"Y...Yes..." the scout ran off after the glint in my eye told her to go to hell. She's not getting my son. He already looked like he's gone through more than he deserved.

"L...?" I worried, giving him a nudge, "You ok, baby?"

L shook his head. Oh-no...

"Don't give me that," I gave him the mom voice, "Use your words, L. Talk to me."

He shook his head again.

"Ryuzaki," Light kept his voice down, "What's wrong?"

I held L against my chest, cradling him gently, whispering soft enough that Light couldn't hear me, "It's alright, Lawliet. I'm right here. Now, use your words."

"I..." he stuttered, "I'm sor...sorry, Mama."

"There you are, baby," I hugged him tight, "You had me worried for a minute. I thought you reverted."

"Reverted?" Light wondered.

"Yes," L told the story, "For a small part of my childhood, Light, I was mute."

And I could still hear the first words he ever said to me ringing in the back of my brain, stabbing me over and over and over again in my heart. _Why didn't they want me, Mama?_ It haunted my dreams on a regular basis. I never wanted that feeling ever again.

"You?" Light gave him a look, "You always have to have the last word, though. Some days, you don't know when you should keep your mouth shut. You were mute?"

"Yes," he nodded.

"When he was five," I kept my arms around him, "I remember that like it was yesterday."

"So do I," L remembered, "However, I don't remember my first words to you."

"You were also five years old, L," I laughed it off, "I wouldn't expect you to remember that far back."

"Hey," Ryuk chimed in, "You said you were looking for suspicious, right? Your actual girlfriend's stalker? What about that guy over there?"

Light turned his head toward the bushes where Ryuk had pointed. And I tried not to do it out of reflex, "Hey, guys?"

"What is it, Light?" L wondered, speaking in coherant sentences again.

"That guy looks kind of suspicious," he pointed at a man crouched in the greenery, hiding his face with a dark hoody, "I bet he's Misa's stalker."

"There's one way of testing that theory," I readjusted the neckline of my shirt, showing a little bit of cleavage, and pulled up my already short skirt.

"Mama," L took my hand, "Where are you going?"

"Trust me," I kissed my baby's forehead, "I'll be right back. Light, are you quick on your feet?"

"I can be when I have to be," he assured.

"Good," I smiled, "Because I got a feeling he's going to be a runner."

"Please be careful," L begged.

"Don't worry, sweetie," I settled him and started walking toward the guy in the bushes, "Hi."

"Oh!" he jumped out of his skin, "Hi..."

"What's your name?" I asked breathily, doing my best to seduce him.

"It's..." the guy looked me over, "You can call me anytime, beautiful. Originally, I was only here for Misa Misa, but it looks like there are two supernovas in this park tonight."

"I heard about that," I smiled, "I know Misa Misa pretty well. We're actually really close."

"Really?" he beamed, "You think you could help me meet her?"

"On one condition."

"Name it, sweetheart."

I pinned the guy against a tree, "You leave her alone. Misa's a good girl. She's just a person. Trust me. If you were around her all the time, you'd want to blow your brains out. Now, I not only know Misa Misa very well, but I also know the entire Japanese police. You're going to go home, delete every picture you have of Misa, and we're going to pretend you never happened. Is that clear?"

"Yes, ma'am..."

"Alright," I chirped, "We're done here! Go on. Go home. Go be sad elsewhere."

The guy took off like a bat out of hell and Light looked like he was ready to go after him, "Is he running from you?"

"He should be," I giggled, "I just struck the fear of God in his heart. He's going to go delete his entire Misa collection."

"He's gone?" Misa joined us, "My stalker won't be back?"

"You're going to be fine, Misa," I promised, "He's gone."

"Thank you, Natalya!" she hugged me tight, "That was fun! We should do this again sometime."

"No," Light put his foot down.

"Not if my life depended on it," L reciprocated his sentiment.

"Boo!" Misa whined, "You two are no fun."

"Right then," I pulled L onto his feet, "Back to the tower?"

"Back to the tower."

 **A/N: So, next week. I thought I'd throw in a crack chapter just to ease you into what's about to happen. Next week's chapter is going to be the end. And it's going to be very satisfying. No more. I know I've said that with this story before, but I mean it this time. After next week's chapter, we won't be having any more Death Note. I kind of want to do a new series, so if you have any suggestions, they're more than welcome. I'm sure this isn't going to be the last Death Note fic I write. Because I have a problem when it comes to Death Note. L is my baby and I can come up with some very inventive ways of torturing Light Yagami for what he did. Just lock him in a room with Misa for a week straight while she goes on about everything and anything and not a moment of silence will pass. No...That was mean...But all that aside, I'll see you next chapter! xx**


	13. The Kira Investigation: Silence

**A/N: Well…Here we are, guys. What started out as a one-shot became a miniseries. I don't think I could even classify this as a miniseries anymore. I mean, it's got thirteen chapters now. How appropriate. I really wasn't going to add to this. But once it started getting more traffic, I couldn't leave well enough alone. And here we are. The end of the road. I'm going to save my getting mushy until the end if that's alright with you. As a forewarning, we're going out with a bang, so this is going to be a super heavy chapter. Hang in there until the end, ok? We'll be alright. *holds your hand for emotional support***

"The Death Note?" I played dumb, looking over the notebook in L's hand. It's been years since I had one of those in my grip, "What's that?"

"Here," L offered me the book, "If you touch this, you'll see a shinigami. It sounds improbable, but if I wasn't seeing it with my own two eyes, I wouldn't believe it either."

"A shinigami?" I wasn't sure how long I could pass this off. L wasn't exactly stupid. With a false reluctance, I touched the cover of the Death Note and another shinigami popped up. This one looked nothing like Ryuk.

"This is Rem," L introduced me, "Rem, this is Natalya."

"It's nice to meet you, Natalya," Rem spoke flatly. The complete opposite of Ryuk. I bet these two would make an excellent sitcom.

"Wow, Rem," I gasped, "I never expected a god of death to be so pretty."

"Your human standards of beauty mean nothing to me," Rem blew me off.

"Rem," Light scolded, "She was just trying to be nice."

"Sorry," Ryuk whispered, "Rem's not exactly the cuddly type."

"Hold on," Rem touched me with another piece of paper, "You might as well be able to see all of the shinigami in the room. This is Ryuk."

"Well," Ryuk bowed to me, "Nice to meet you, doll face."

"Ryuk," L chimed in, "If you could, please refrain from hitting on my mother. At least in front of me. The last one to do that ended up dying."

"Wait, what?" I perked up, "But that was..."

I remembered the last man to hit on me while I was with L. That was Ray. It's been quite some time since I last heard from him. Granted, we still weren't on the best terms, but I heard he had gotten engaged and he wanted to make sure there wasn't any bad blood between us. There's no way he's dead. He's only a little older than me. Did the job finally get to him?

"I thought I told you about Ray," L shrugged, "He started on the case and got himself killed."

"Kira?" I guessed.

"It appears so."

"You knew Ray Penber, Natalya?" Light wondered.

"I'd say so," I chuckled to myself, "I dated him. Ray and I were together for...Two years? L?"

"About that," L confirmed, "Apparently, once he heard that I was the one heading up this investigation, he couldn't say no."

"So, he finally pulled his head out of his ass," I sighed, "Only for him to be killed. What a shame. He was a good man."

"Yes, he was," he agreed, "Even though he was jealous of me."

"Your ego's showing, Ryuzaki," Light brought him back down.

"I knew it!" I chirped, "I always knew that's why he was distant with you."

"So, that wasn't ego?" Light asked.

"No, Light," L assured, dropping yet another sugar cube in his coffee. At least it started out as coffee.

"I think I'm going to go for a walk," I tried to shake off the news of Ray's death, "Anybody want anything while I'm out?"

"Thank you, Mama," L gave me a nod, "We're good."

"I'll be right back," I kissed the top of my baby's head and slipped out the front door.

Ray's death hit me a lot harder than I expected. When he and I were together, I saw him as a potential father figure for L. As they grew closer, my hopes grew even bigger. But then, some things were said and I could never forgive them. I've heard so much about Kira since I got to Japan, but hearing about Ray's death made him so much more real. And the fact that Ray's killer was within arm's reach and left alone with my baby made me sick.

As I walked down the alley in front of me in attempts to clear my head, I noticed a shadow floating behind me. For some strange reason, it offered a weird comfort and it put a smile on my face, "Hi, Ryuk."

"How'd you know I was here?" he freaked, "I thought I was incognito."

"Lucky guess," I shot him a wink, "Besides, I knew you were going a little stir crazy. Did you need something from me?"

"It's like you said," Ryuk covered, "I was getting stir crazy. Couldn't stand it anymore."

"Or you were worried about me," I teased, "Weren't you?"

"No," he twitched.

"I promise I was going to get you apples eventually," I assured, "Don't worry."

"Thanks, doll face," Ryuk awed, "You got a soft spot for me, too, don't you?"

"Of course," I smiled, "Out of every shinigami I've ever met in my life, you're my favorite."

"You've only met Rem and me."

"And what does that tell you?" my good feeling didn't last very long, "Now, it looks like the investigation's getting down to the wire, Ryuk."

"Yeah," he nodded, "What about it?"

"You know what," I barely spoke above a whisper, "Whose side are you on?"

"I don't pick sides, sweetheart," Ryuk pointed out, "You know that."

"But just for laughs," I coaxed him, "If your life depended on it and you had to pick a side, would you still be able to side with Kira?"

"Poking at the morals of a shinigami," he giggled, "Humans can be so interesting."

"And the one that holds your leash wants my baby dead," I growled.

"I'm sure a lot of people do."

"I took care of them," I reminded him, "I used your Death Note to do that."

"Why is Light still alive then?" Ryuk made a good point. Why was Light still alive? I knew who he was...what he was.

"I'm hoping for a change of heart," I shrugged.

"Light?" he laughed hysterically, "That's a tiger that won't change his stripes. I know I've said it before that humans with a moral code are boring, but Light's is so twisted. It's like the world's greatest roller coaster. If you don't throw up on it at least twice, there's something wrong with you."

"Yeah," I grumbled, "I'm starting to see that."

"Listen," Ryuk settled me, "You still have those pages you tore from the Death Note, don't you?"

"Yeah," I rubbed the back of my neck, "But I'm not quite sure where they are. To the untrained eye, they just look like pieces of paper."

"I'm sure you'll find them," he assured as the two of us approached a small, open air market. I did promise him. The biggest, reddest, and juiciest. Only the best for my favorite shinigami. Besides, these things made for excellent leverage. As soon as we were a safe distance away, I tossed an apple in the air.

"Bless you, doll face," Ryuk moaned into it, "My god, I love you."

"What was that?" I chirped, not sure if he meant to keep that in a thought bubble or not, "You love me, Ryuk?"

"I meant that as a rhetorical," he tried to clean up the mess, "You knew what I meant."

"I love you, too," I blushed. However, I could use this to my advantage. Now, I was starting to think like Kira and that terrified me a little, "Ryuk, if I asked you a favor, would you do it for me?"

"Depends on the favor," Ryuk got nervous, "What did you have in mind?"

"If I can't find those pages I tore from the notebook," I smirked, "Do you think you could get your notebook away from Light?"

"I could," he nodded, "But whether or not I would is an entirely different story."

"Such a shame," I took another apple from the bag and started eating on it, "I'm sure I could get another bag of these for you, but whether or not I would is an entirely different story."

Ryuk glared a hole through me, "That was a low move."

"I know," I brushed him off, "But you're also standing by a serial killer that's killed thousands without batting an eye."

"You've killed people, too!" he threw that in my face, "I watched you do it."

"I was preventing my son from dying," I snapped, "And you really should know better than to bring that up, Ryuk. I knew shinigami were dirty, but even for you..."

"Wait a minute," Ryuk followed me as I started looking both ways on a very busy street, "Why is your lifespan dropping?"

"You know why," I kept watch, "You know what I'm about to do."

"Hey!" he started to sweat, "Don't do that! Killing yourself isn't the answer! You still want to catch Kira, don't you? Huh? Don't you want to see Light come to justice?"

"Are you saying you're deliberately wanting to extend my lifespan?" I asked, sticking my foot out into the road.

"Come on, sweetheart," Ryuk whined, "You really got me in a catch 22 here."

"Damned if you do, damned if you don't," I inched closer, "Whose side are you on, Ryuk?"

"If it means you not killing yourself," he grabbed my arm, "Yours! There? Happy? I picked sides."

I hid a dirty little grin on my face, "I always knew you were a big softy, Ryuk."

"And you say what I did was low..."

"Come on," I took off, "We should be getting back to headquarters. I'm sure L's worried."

"Now that I answered a question for you," Ryuk wondered, "Would you answer one for me? That's how that whole quid pro quo thing works, right?"

"I guess," I skipped down the road, "What's on your mind?"

"You know Ryuzaki's real name, don't you?"

"Of course I do," I sang, "I'm his mother. Why wouldn't I? Who do you think started calling him L in the first place?"

As soon as we got back to the tower, I decided to call it an early night. L and Light were handling Higuchi and the Death Note was kept under a lock and key. Everything was pretty much all buttoned up. Except for one thing. Such a shame when I had to do a search of my own floor. Regardless, I needed to find those pages.

I remember the last time I saw them, I had folded them neatly and tucked them in a sketchbook behind a fake lining. That was going to be like finding a needle in a haystack. I brought a million sketchbooks with me when I came to Japan. I'm screwed. I had to think. If I were hidden pages of the Death Note, where would I be? I did use them to keep L safe. Maybe past me was smart enough to think for future me and put them in the notebook I started sketching my manga series in. I hope.

I flipped out one of the blades in my utility knife and started scraping under the lining. Even if the pages were torn, they'd still work. When I saw the torn corner in the Death Note that L had in his hand, I knew Light had probably tucked that away for insurance purposes. All that aside, I continued peeling the paper back.

Score! Three pages from the Death Note popped out and fell to the floor. Awesome! Right where I left them. I really needed to take a better mental note of where I kept these things. If Light doesn't either come forward as Kira or ends up hurting my baby, I had my own insurance. He wasn't going to live much longer after.

Knock, knock.

Dammit. Who the hell would be at my door this late? I knew exactly who. I tucked the pages of the Death Note back in their hiding place and threw my sketchbook on the coffee table like nothing was wrong. Because nothing was wrong. Not yet anyway...

"Hey, baby," I opened my door, peeking out into the hall. L was missing his not so better half, "You're by yourself?"

"Light's already asleep," L came in, "I wanted to come see you alone, if that's alright."

"Sure," I sat back down.

"I didn't wake you, did I?" he worried. Such a sweetheart at his core.

"No," I shook my head, "What is it?"

"You know I love you, right?"

"Of course, L," I started to get a little nervous, "What's going on?"

"I..." L could hardly speak. It made me worry he was reverting again, but he pushed through, "I want you to leave Japan."

"What?" my heart sunk to my feet, "Why?"

"I don't want you on this investigation anymore," he put his foot down, "It's not over and we're starting to zero in on who this could be. I don't want you caught in the crossfire, Mama."

"But..."

"Please try to understand," L shook, "If something were to happen to you..."

I knew this investigation was taking a toll on him, but I don't think I've ever seen L this bad. I pulled my baby to my chest, holding him tight, "Alright, L. I'll go."

"Thank you," he began to settle, "Also, if I die in the next week, a contingency plan will be set in motion."

"Don't talk like that!" I had half a mind of giving him a heavy swat for that.

"I'm just saying," L went on, "If I die, this investigation has to keep going. We're so close I can taste it. Do you remember Near?"

Near...Near...Flashbacks of an adorable, little white haired boy from Wammy House holding my hand popped into my head, "Of course."

"He knows everything," he told, "I've been sending him my findings since the investigation began. He'll be the one to carry on the investigation. However..."

"However?" I moved him along.

"If I do die within that time," L nuzzled into my shoulder, "Be sure that it gets to Near that Light Yagami is Kira."

"This is a little morbid," I cringed, "Don't you think?"

"I don't want it to be either," he sighed out, "He's my best friend, Mama. But if it comes to that, promise you'll tell Near."

"Ok," I kissed his forehead, "Go to bed, Lawliet. You're overworking yourself. You can't do that. Now, I'll be on the first flight to London in the morning."

"Thank you," L hugged me tight, "I love you, Mama..."

"I love you, too, baby," I didn't want to let him go. I knew I was going to be leaving in the morning, but every part of me wanted to take him with me. I needed to get him out of here. I just hope he finds out before the worst case scenario happened.

The next morning, I jumped a flight to Heathrow without saying goodbye to the others. I'd miss them all too much. Even Light. I could manage to separate him from Kira. Light Yagami was a good person, but I knew that the power of the Death Note could corrupt even the purest of souls. If anyone knew that, it was me. But I'd miss L. And Watari. And Misa. And Matsuda. And Mogi. And Soichiro. And Ryuk. Rem, not so much. Rem could go either way.

Until then, I paced the floor of my apartment for a few days. It worried me when I didn't hear from L. Watari would hardly respond to my texts and when he did, they were all one word responses. Then again, I'd ask him the same question every day. Is L still alive? And I'd get messages back that say yes and only yes. Not if he was taking care of himself. No updates on the case. Nothing.

Then, the end of the week came. I sat on my couch with my drawing tablet, trying to distract myself from any thoughts of the investigation. In times like these, I took to drawing landscapes. After being in Japan as long as I was, I had plenty of inspiration. It really was a beautiful country. It didn't matter if I was in the city or not. It was beautiful wherever I looked. My heart stopped as my phone rang.

Unknown number. L. Had to be. Who else would've been calling me from an unknown number? Unless it was a telemarketer or something, but they usually stopped around seven. It was getting closer to ten o'clock. I grabbed my phone off the charger and slid my finger across the screen.

"L?" I hoped, keeping my fingers crossed.

"Mama...?" a soft, little voice spoke, making a pit open in my stomach. No. I can't afford to think like that.

"Hi, Near," I quivered, "What is it?"

"It's L," Near said, "He's..."

I couldn't even let him finish. My phone fell to the floor, the screen shattering. No. No, no, no. L's not...He can't be. There's no way. My L is too smart for that. My L is too clever for that. He didn't get himself…I couldn't even bring myself to say it. But now wasn't the time for tears.

"Near," I swallowed the lump in my throat, "I need you to take over the investigation."

"What about you?"

"I have a thing to do." Cry later. Vengeance now.

I booked the next flight into Tokyo and headed back to Japan, making sure I had my sketchbook in my bag. All I needed was my carry on. A couple changes of clothes and that sketchbook. There's no way. L couldn't be dead. Watari made me a promise that he'd make sure L was taken care of. This wasn't him taking care of L. L wasn't dead. I don't care what Near said. He was alive. L was ok.

Once I touched down in Tokyo, I got a hotel room and started planning out how to take care of things. I couldn't let my emotions get the best of me right now. If L was actually dead, he'd come back and haunt my ass if I sat on the sidelines now. Not when the going was getting like this. Then again, he'd also be pissed at me for getting back into the investigation, too.

Ring, ring.

Unknown. That must be Near again, "Hello?"

"Natalya," a voice rumbled on the other end, "It's Soichiro Yagami."

"Chief Yagami," I pulled myself together, "Hi. It's been a while."

"I'm sorry to be calling you like this," his voice quivered, "But you're Ryuzaki's next of kin after Watari."

"So, it's true," I let out a heavy sigh, "He's..."

"Yes," he confirmed, "They both are. And I really hate to do this, but you need to identify the body for the coroner. If you can't do it, I can have someone go in your place."

"No," I shook my head, "I can. It's fine. I'll be down there soon."

"Thank you," Soichiro said, "And really, I am sorry. Ryuzaki was a friend to all of us. I've never lost a child, but I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to either one of my children."

"Thank you."

His condolences were appreciated, but he was about to find out what it was like to lose a child. No...A monster. That's all Light was now. He killed my baby. And now, he was about to get the justice L would've wanted him to have. I went down to the morgue and kept my emotions in check. Sure enough, Soichiro and Light were there for moral support. And Ryuk, too.

"I'm so sorry, Natalya," Light empathized emptily.

"Thank you, Light," I gave him the same icy courtesy, "Was it Kira?"

"The official cause of death was a heart attack," Soichiro confirmed, "It's a good chance it was Kira."

Immediately, I shot a glare at Light. He knew damn well what he did. Light was playing the role of concerned friend very well, but I knew better. I knew what he did. Concerned friend…Concerned friend, my ass. A concerned friend wouldn't have killed his friend in the first place. A concerned friend wouldn't have betrayed L like that. Their cat and mouse game would've ended with Light behind bars where he belonged. Or even better, Hell.

"So," the coroner pulled the sheet back, sending my stomach into knots. No. He's not dead. He's asleep. He's naturally that pale and as he grew older, he stopped being Mama's little space heater, "Is this him?"

"Yeah," I could hardly speak. Between my anger and grief, I didn't know what was taking over more. I laced my fingers between his, "This is L. My baby...My little angel."

This was a sucker punch to the heart I didn't need. As the coroner pulled the sheet over my son's lifeless body, I felt a cold hand on my shoulder. No doubt Ryuk. Out of everyone in this room, nobody knew me better than Ryuk. He knew exactly the kind of hell raging in my head right now.

"Do you know if he had any sort of will?" Soichiro asked me.

"No," I shook my head, "L didn't have much. He had me, though."

"We need to continue our autopsy," the coroner ushered us out of the room, "Thank you, Chief Yagami."

I kissed my baby goodbye and the three of us stood outside the hospital. No matter how much solid evidence was in front of me, I refused to believe my L was dead. Give me a mother that could deal with the death of her only child with a level head. They don't exist.

"Soichiro," I grabbed his sleeve, "Do you think I could ask you a favor? From one parent to another?"

"Of course, Natalya," he allowed, "What is it?"

"Let me come back to the investigation," I demanded, "I want Kira's head on a spike and I want to stab it into L's grave. Please..."

"You're a grieving mother, Natalya," Light hesitated, "You shouldn't be working the Kira case. Besides, you're too close to it."

"Now, it's personal," I could feel the fire burning deep within me, "I know he pegged you to succeed him, Light, but let me become the new L. Who better?"

"When was the last time you got any sleep?" he worried.

"That doesn't matter." Very smart, Light Yagami...Try and pass off a mother riddled with grief over the loss of her son as mentally unfit to work this case. The only human being that knows exactly who and what you are. Clever, clever. I'm sure L would've commended you for it if you hadn't killed him.

Which brings me to this. How did Light learn L's name? L kept his identity so well under wraps. He didn't do something stupid like make the shinigami eye deal, did he? No. If Kira was wanting to become the god of the new world, he'd want to live long in his new world and bask in the glory of his so-called good work. He's that vain.

In that case, how in the hell did Light know L's name? He had to be working with someone. He did have a shinigami in his back pocket, but Ryuk wouldn't do something like that...Would he? No. Ryuk loves me too much and I know shinigami don't have much for a moral code, but he wouldn't stab me in the back like that. I'm almost positive of that. Hold on...

If I remember correctly, L said that he was holding two of the three Kira suspects in the tower. Light and Misa. And L did say there was a second Kira. That the power was transferrable. I knew everything about this entire investigation and Light was trying to shut him up because L had to get his intelligence from somewhere. Although, he was adopted, there was no way L could've turned out to be an idiot.

Misa. Light doesn't love her. I could smell that from a mile away. Any time I would see her even get a little affectionate, Light would always shut her down. When we went to keep an eye on her at her photoshoot, Light looked distant, like he could've cared less. If he didn't like her, then why would he keep her around?

Misa had the eyes. Light was using her. That seems right for a megalomaniac with delusions of grandeur like Light. The more I read into this, the more and more I can confirm Light was the one that killed L. I could feel it deep in my soul. Now, I only had one thing left to do. One little piece of unfinished business.

"I need to get back to headquarters," I demanded, "I'm not sleep deprived, Light. I'm pissed. Let me go."

"Alright," Soichiro wasn't going to fight me and I had Kira scared. He had every right to be scared. You screwed up, Light. You screwed up big.

I ran off toward task force headquarters, feeling every drop of rain on my skin. L did love a good rainy day. Now wasn't the time to think of that. Because L isn't dead. He's still alive. Or I'm in horrible denial. I'm not quite sure which yet. Don't you worry, baby. Mama's got you. I made you a promise that if something were to happen, I would avenge you. I would bring Kira to justice. I won't even let this go to trial. We all know he'd get the maximum penalty. And that was only death.

I took the elevator up to my floor and hoped it hadn't been cleared out yet. I'm sure it wasn't. L probably slept up here once I left. Come on, baby. Tell me you left me something. Not just your findings. Not just Near. Not just your parting words of telling me who Kira is. I needed some sort of reassurance. I think I kept pens in my nightstand drawer. No pens, but one single piece of paper with a familiar, scratchy handwriting on it.

 _Mama,_

 _If you're reading this, then there's a good possibility I'm dead. You're in a lot of pain right now and I'm sorry for being the one to put you in that position, so I'll keep this short and sweet._

 _I never thanked you for that day. The one where you took me home. And I don't think I ever could express in words how truly grateful I am for that. I have had one mother in my life, but I've only had one Mama. For as long as I live, I will never forget that. My memories of my birth mother are distant, but I didn't need them when I had you._

 _However, there was one thing that I needed to get off my chest. I knew, Mama. I knew you knew about the Death Note when we first got the notebook. I know you used it to get rid of anyone that was after me. You were the one to write their names down and you killed them. Although I can't condone something like that, I forgive you. You were only trying to keep me safe. That much, I understand._

 _Before I begin to ramble, I'm going to end it by saying this._

 _I love you._

 _Light Yagami is Kira._

 _And you know what to do._

I sure do, baby. I know exactly what to do. I needed something to write with. Anything. But I wanted to watch Light's death. I wanted to watch the life drain out of his eyes as the Death Note began to take effect. I wanted him to feel every single agony that I was going to give him. I couldn't end him with physical pain. If I was going to kill a killer, I had to hit him somewhere it would hurt the most. I had to hit him really hard in his head. I took the piece of paper out of my pocket and pinned it against the wall.

Light Yagami. Cause of death: Heart attack while experiencing intense hallucinations of L's ghost.

I walked down the stairs with the paper shoved back in my pocket and saw Soichiro and Light sitting at the monitors. And by the sounds of things, they were on the line with someone speaking through a voice filter similar to the one that L used. Someone calling himself N. That could only be one person.

"I am L," Light argued.

"No, you're not," the computer barked back, "You're an imposter."

"Near?" I assumed.

The room fell silent. Until the voice from the computer spoke sweetly, "Mama?"

"Hi, sweetheart," I smiled a bit, "It's good to hear from you."

"This was the thing," he figured.

"Do you know N?" Light asked.

"You have no right to speak to me," I shut him down, already done with him, "How dare you?"

"How dare I what?" he freaked.

"What is it, Mama?" Near worried.

"Stand down, Near," I ordered, "I know who Kira is."

"You do?" Soichiro perked up.

"Were L's suspicions correct?" Near wondered.

"They were." Three...Two...One, "And they're about to be taken care of."

"What do you..." Light stopped midsentence and let out an earth-shattering scream.

"Light?" Soichiro worried, "Light?! What is it?! What's going on?"

"He's here!" Light continued flailing, pointing into empty space, "L's ghost! He's here!"

"There's nothing here!" Soichiro assured him, "Snap out of it, Light!"

"I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, Soichiro," I apologized, showing him the crumpled paper in my pocket with his son's name on it.

"Natalya!" he screeched, "What did you do?!"

I watched as Light's body dropped to the floor and his eyes glazed over, "I just killed Kira. If you want to arrest me, do it. What do I have to lose? My son is dead and so is his killer."

"You know," Soichiro wouldn't look at me, "I, too, had my suspicions. I didn't want to believe it, but Ryuzaki made a compelling argument. Then, the Death Note surfaced…"

"Power corrupts," I comforted, "Light probably had good intentions when he began his crusade. However, the temptation of the Death Note kills in itself. You're free to go, Ryuk. And you, too, Rem."

"I'm still attached to a human in this world," Rem told, "Hopefully, this will be the last we see each other."

Just like that, Rem floated off, but Ryuk stayed by my side, "And technically, you're the owner of the Death Note now."

"So, Chief Yagami," I asked, holding my wrists out to him, "Are you going to arrest me?"

Soichiro debated for a moment or two, "It's going to pain me to do this, but I'm going to close my eyes for ten seconds and pretend you weren't here. It's better this way."

"Thank you," I took his hands while a few tears fell from his eyes, "Light was a good person, Soichiro. The Light you knew and loved had died the day he decided to play with the Death Note. The day Kira was born was the day Light died. Do not blame yourself. Do not blame him."

"That's actually quite comforting," he wiped his eyes, "I'm guessing we'll never see each other again."

"I need to go underground for a while," I shrugged him off, "If you need me, I'm sure you'll be able to find me."

I took the notebook and headed out with Ryuk over my shoulder. It was over, baby. It was finally over. When I slipped the Death Note in my bag, I thought about all the people that were killed with this notebook. No one person should have this kind of power. I'm sure it'd be easier to just burn it and wash my hands of this.

"Hey, doll face," Ryuk chimed, "I have something I need to tell you."

"What is it, Ryuk?" I threw myself on my bed in my hotel room, "I'm exhausted and I want to go to sleep."

"It's about Light," he wrung his hands, "Light didn't kill L. He held Misa hostage from Rem to get Rem to kill him."

"Thank you, Ryuk," I wrapped myself in the blankets, "Really. I appreciate that."

"Get some sleep, ok?" he insisted, "We can talk details in the morning."

"Ok…"

For the first time in two weeks, I actually got decent sleep. Light was dead. I had the Death Note in my bag. Things could finally go back to normal. Although, I have a feeling I was about to get really close with Near. Someone to fill the void. When I woke up, Ryuk was digging through my bags, looking for any more apples I might have had.

"What are you doing?" I rubbed my eyes.

"Going on a panty raid," Ryuk sassed, "What do you think?"

"I'll get you some apples later," I promised.

"How about now?" he demanded, "Not to sound pushy or anything."

"Fine," I got out of bed, "Let me take a shower and get dressed and I'll go get you some apples."

"Thank you!" I grabbed clothes out of my bag and turned the water on, "And by the way, sweetheart, I got another thing to tell you."

"What's that?" I asked, stepping into the water.

"You might want to hurry up in there," Ryuk begged, "I'm starting to feel withdrawals."

"And you're not going to tell me until you get your apple?"

"You know me all too well."

Damn shinigami. I loved him, but I wanted to hit him all at the same time. I hurried up in the shower, grabbed my bag off the table, and checked out of my hotel. Once I get Ryuk's apples, I was going to relinquish the Death Note for good and head home. That was the plan. I needed to get back to London anyway. I needed to see Near again in person.

"So," I held an apple out for Ryuk, "What did you want to tell me?"

"Do you remember when you asked me whose side I was on?" he asked in between bites, "And I said I was on yours?"

"Yeah," I nodded, "What about it?"

"I might have taped a piece of regular notebook paper in Rem's Death Note," he finished, "And the guy at that café sits kind of weird, don't you think?"

"What?" I looked over my shoulder toward the café and saw a blonde boy sitting on his feet just like L would. Hold on. Did Ryuk say what I think he said…?

"Why don't you go say hi?" he nudged me.

All I could do was hug the shinigami on my side, holding back tears, "I love you, Ryuk."

"Yeah, yeah," he brushed me off, "Love you, too, sweetheart. Now, go."

"Before I forget," I took the Death Note out of my bag, "I want you to have this. I'm relinquishing all control of the Death Note. I don't need this."

"Are you sure?" Ryuk asked, "Last chance."

"Positive."

"Alright then," he wiped my memories of the notebook and of him and took off. Goodbye, Ryuk. You will be missed. However, I had someone I needed to see.

"Excuse me," I tapped on the guy's shoulder, making him turn around, "I think I know you."

"Really?" he smiled, "A lot of people tell me I look like my mother. As of lately, I'd say they're right."

It sounded just like him. I kept my voice down, only whispering a name, "Lawliet…?"

"Care to join me, Mama?"

 **A/N: L'S ALIVE! I couldn't leave him dead. I was going to. This was going to end at Light's death and that was going to be it, but at the last minute, I decided I couldn't do that. L deserved better. So, here we are. Ryuk wasn't lying when he told her whose side he was on. Looks like she had a god on her side. Ryuk did love her. And she was much more accommodating than Light.**

 **Now, I'm going to get kind of mushy. This was supposed to just be a one-shot. I had kind of lost faith in it. This story was lucky to get ten views in a month. Now, it's kind of one of my most popular stories. I love the way this ended and I'm glad you stuck around for the ride. So, thank you, thank you, thank you. From the bottom of my heart. I appreciate all of your kind words and your lack of nitpicking and being whiny. You get a virtual hug from me, redeemable for if/when we ever meet in the wild. I worked hard on this and I'm really, really pleased with it. So, if you have a suggestion for anything you'd like to see me do, not even necessarily Death Note related, feel free to leave it in the reviews or in my inbox. Just let me know and I might actually do it. So, I'll see you later. xx**


	14. How L Survived

**A/N: Hi there. Bet you're surprised to see me here again. I mean…Not** ** _here_** **here. Considering this is my story and everything, but to see me here, posting another chapter. I ended this months ago. Way back in March. That was seven months ago. But I've had this idea burning a hole in the back of my brain since the story ended. How did L survive the Death Note? How could he? It's a very quick, easy, and effective method of killing. But like his mama said, her L is much too clever to go that way or to go down without a fight. So, for those of you who don't remember…**

 **Where we last left off, L was sitting outside a café looking a little different. He's supposed to be dead. What did you expect?** **I also might have drawn L blonde just to see what he'd look like and he's so cuuuuute!** **And ownership of the Death Note had also been forfeited. Shall we then?**

Alive. My baby was alive. All I wanted to do was hold him. I saw L's body. It was stone cold and pale. He had no pulse. L was dead. If that was the case, how in the hell was he sitting in front of me? I needed to keep myself from crying.

"Mama?" L asked, "Are you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I'm having tea with a ghost," I pointed out, "L, you were dead. On the slab, cold as ice, flatlined at the coroner's."

"You were there with Light and Soichiro Yagami," he recalled, "I had slowed my pulse to a crawl. Did you do as I asked you?"

"Near?" I assumed.

"Him, too," L nodded, "Is the investigation over?"

"What do you mean?"

"You don't remember," he told, "But we were fighting against Kira."

"I do remember that. You and me and Light and Soichiro and Misa and the task force."

"Do you remember Ryuk or Rem?"

"Who?" I gave him a look.

"Mama," L spoke softly, "Do you...Did you give up control and ownership of the Death Note?"

"What's a Death Note?" I asked, "L, you're not making much sense."

"You'll just have to trust me," he took my hand, "This will sound crazy, but we knew a shinigami, Mama."

"A shinigami?" I remembered doing a late night of research on shinigami before I was working on a scary story. Was all of it real?

"That's right," L went on, "We knew two of them. Ryuk dropped a notebook in this world with the power to kill anyone with simply writing a name while thinking of their face. That power fell into the hands of Light Yagami, who used it...no...abused it to make himself a god. He became known as Kira. Do you remember any of that?"

"I remember how suspicious you were of Light..." I thought back, "He was Kira?"

"Yes," I continued, "And he tried to kill me. Rather, he tried to have me killed. One of the shinigami we know, Rem, was attached to Misa Amane. And Light knew Rem would protect MIsa at all costs. With Misa's blind infatuation with him, he used Rem's affection like a weapon. If Rem didn't kill me, Light and Misa wouldn't be able to live their lives as gods and it'd break her heart. Light blackmailed Rem and used Misa as a hostage. Which brings me to the burning question on everyone's mind. How am I still alive?"

"Yeah," I wondered, "If this Death Note is supposed to kill anyone with a name and face, how could you survive something like that?"

"Excuse me," L flagged down a waitress, "Could we get some more tea please?"

"No problem," the girl gave him a little smile. It wouldn't surprise me if she writes her number on the back of the check.

"Are we really going to need more tea?" I asked.

"For this part of the story," L assured, "It's completely necessary."

"Ok," I wasn't going to doubt him. L may not have been very good with understanding someone else's emotions. Half the time, he could hardly manage his own. But he knew exactly how mine worked. If it was going to warrant more tea, it couldn't be good.

"Here," the waitress bounced back with a hot tea pot and her smile still on her face, "Is there anything else I can get for you, sir?"

"No, thank you," L sent her away. She kept glancing over her shoulder, hoping at some point, L would look back. Instead, he just poured tea for both of us.

"She's cute," I nudged him under the table, trying to help a sister out.

"Hadn't noticed," he brushed me off. Yep. Same old L. Death hadn't changed him a bit, "Now, how I survived."

"Right," I shook the girl out of my head, "How did you survive?"

"The day before Light told Rem to kill me," L spun the tale, "I had a moment to myself, despite still being handcuffed to him. Light had pushed himself too hard that night and fell asleep at the desk. Rem had already put Misa to bed and Ryuk was stuck to Light. It was just the three of us."

"A regular sitcom," I teased, "Two shinigami and me."

"With Rem's disgust with Light," he continued, "I was told about my impending death. Ryuk wasn't overly fond of him either. He said you were his favorite human to pick up his Death Note."

"What?" I nearly spat my tea out, "I had a Death Note?"

"And you used it," L nodded, "More or less for the same reasons as Kira. You only used it on criminals, but you never developed megalomania. You only killed criminals that threatened my life. You used the Death Note to keep me safe. For that, I can't lump you in with Kira."

"I can't believe it..."

"So, that night," he dropped four sugar cubes in his tea, "Rem, Ryuk, and I devised a plan. One that would not only keep me alive, but would free Misa from Light and free Ryuk from Light and finish off the investigation in one shot. A name written in the Death Note is earmarked for death. However, if the paper that the name was written on was not original to the notebook, it won't have any effect. My death had to look real enough to fool Light. He wasn't exactly stupid. I thought I played my part rather well."

"I'm just glad I didn't have to see it," I shuddered.

"You did have to see me as a corpse, though," L pointed out, "And for that, I do apologize. I felt your hand, Mama. I heard you talking to the coroner."

"Do you know how awful getting that phone call was?" I grumbled, "Getting an unknown number, hoping to hear your voice on the other end only for it to be Near?"

"Near was aware of the situation as well."

"Near knew, too?" I squeaked.

"You had a part in this, too," L knocked over his creamer tower, "When Near called you, he called me shortly after. That was when I paid off the coroner and went to the morgue. I didn't have much, but I had you?"

"Don't use my words against me," I scolded.

"After you left the morgue," he went on, "I went into hiding. I changed my appearance, got new documentation, and waited for updates from Near. I knew you would've been grief stricken and would've gone back to the days when you still had the Death Note. You would write Light's name down. That would be the end of it. Kira was dead. I'm still alive. Ryuk didn't have to deal with Light anymore. Rem didn't have to worry about Misa. Everything would be fine."

"Except for the part where I still had to grieve my son," I growled, "Only to find out he used me."

"For good reasons."

"L," I rolled my eyes, "You're so lucky I love you and I didn't keep any more Death Note pages."

"I said I was sorry," he reiterated, "Look on the bright side. You took out a terrible criminal. And I'm still alive."

I held back a little smile, "For now. I don't have a Death Note anymore, but that doesn't mean I can't use my bare hands."

"It's not that you can't," L shrugged, "It's that you won't. I've already died once, Mama. I'm sure you don't want to go through that again."

"God, no," I shivered, "I love you, L."

"I love you, too," my son took my hand, "However, L is going to stay dead for now."

"Does this mean Watari's still alive, too?" I assumed.

"He is," L nodded, "Watari is taking a well-deserved and long overdue vacation...More of a semi-retirement."

"What?" I joked, "Did he get a condo in Florida and take up golfing?"

"Racquetball in Italy," he dug in his pocket, pulling out a picture of the Tuscan countryside, "He just recently sent me a postcard saying he's settled in. He's doing well, all things considered."

"Who all knows?" I asked, "About your plan to make a deal with a shinigami?"

"Watari," L listed, "Me, Near. That's it. They're the only ones that know I'm still alive. Along with you, of course. The last part of our deal was that as soon as it was all over, Ryuk would bring you to me. You didn't deserve to suffer any longer, Mama. You needed to know I was alive and well."

"I didn't believe it was you at first," I admitted, "You look so different, baby. How many bottles of peroxide did you go through to get that blonde?"

"About four," he thought back, "I lost count after I got dizzy from the fumes. I passed out for a little while."

"Was there no ventilation?" I rolled my eyes, "Come on, L. I thought I taught you better."

"There was ventilation," he assured, "I promise."

"Alright," I took one of his sugar cubes and topped off my tea, "So, why blonde? Don't get me wrong. It's a good color for you. I'm just curious."

"It was the same as yours when we met."

L had a talent for making me melt. I wasn't sure if I should call it a talent or a nasty habit. And he knew it. But if it brought a smile to the little sadist's face, it was worth it. Before I started crying again, I needed to keep talking, "And your dark circles? Those were kind of legendary, sweetie. Now, they've disappeared overnight? What's your secret?"

"They're still there," L shoved half a strawberry in his mouth, "I learned how to use concealer very quickly. One would think that after all those years of being in the bathroom with you before you'd go on dates, something would've stuck."

"Hey," I shoved my finger in his face, "You're walking a very fine line, Lawliet. My own imperfections are my business."

"What imperfections?"

"There you go," I praised, "Tell a woman what she wants to hear. Consider yourself redeemed."

"I missed you, Mama," L's grip on my hand tightened, "I didn't think I would've been afraid to die, but I didn't want you to suffer."

"I'm right here, L," I assured, "It's just the two of us. You're alive. I'm alive. We're ok."

"Near played the video of you confronting Light," he shook, "It was only the audio, but I didn't want a visual of that. To hear you...Someone so kind and so gentle...To hear you so cold and ruthless like that. And knowing I had to put you in that position..."

"It had to be done," I settled him, "Honey, it wasn't the first time I used a Death Note to save your life, but it was clearly the last or I'd remember Rem and Ryuk. Just think, baby. We got the bad guy. And Light would've been sentenced with an execution anyway."

"But I never intended for you to be the one doing the executing."

"He was going to kill my baby," I smiled, setting him more at ease, "I couldn't let him do that. Just keeping you safe."

"I love you, Mama."

"I love you, too, Lawliet."

"Would you care to see the new house?" L asked.

"I'd love to," I got up from our table, "Where is it?"

"Barcelona," he followed me, throwing some money on the table, "Spain is a beautiful country. And it's not too far from Watari or from Wammy House. We can all keep in touch."

I felt a pair of lips on the top of my head and melted a little inside, "L, since when are you so affectionate?"

"What do you mean?" L wondered.

"Don't try to play that off," I jabbed, "That little kiss you just gave me. I felt that, Lawliet. You can't hide from me anymore."

"Really," he promised, "It wasn't me."

"Then, who else would it have..." I looked down at my feet and saw a single black feather on the ground. In the reflection of that one lone feather, I felt a weight in my chest. And it hurt. But in the best way.

"By the way, Mama," L smiled, "He says to say he missed you."

 **A/N: Ryuk, you big softy. I know. He's a big, bad, scary shinigami. He's not on the side of the humans. Then again, do we remember Ryuk's feelings for one particular human? And because L never owned the Death Note, but he has touched it, he can still see Ryuk. He's my sweet bean. Speaking of sweet little beans, the reason why I waited this long to post how L survived? Because what better way to celebrate his birthday than telling the story of how he's still alive? So happy birthday to my sweet little angel that deserved better and I want to hug and snuggle until his eyes pop out. Last year, I celebrated with some Dramatical Murder. This year, it's Death Note. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's not only Halloween, but it's also my last day for NaNoWriMo preparations, so I got shit to do. I'll see you guys later. xx**


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